01-19-2011, 07:58 PM
1/19/11
Woke up today very tired. As the day progressed I started getting a major tension headache. So I laid down for a couple hours just relaxing my body and trying to relieve tension as much as possible. During this time I had a lot to think about.
I remembered back in middle school I got a girlfriend because everyone thought it was the cool thing to do. I never really understood why I dated the girl, all I know is that she was absolutely crazy about me. I figured I would give it a shot and let her go out with me lol. I was an incredibly quiet kid and had a ton of anxiety, so I'm sure I was very indifferent in her eyes. I didn't like talking on the phone, I barely hung out with her because it was nerve racking, I had no experience with girls so I had no idea what I was doing. Still she pretty much chased me.
It just made me wonder because even at that age I had self doubts. She would shower me with compliments and I'd just think she was lying or something. It just makes me wonder why some of us self-sabotage ourselves. As humans we are capable of so many things, but most people don't pursue their dreams or never live up to their potential. I remember when I was in high school I just felt like a failure. I didn't have evidence or proof that I was, I just felt like one.
About a year ago I designed my own tattoo. I wanted something personal, something nobody else had, and something that came directly from my own mind. Anytime I feel like giving up I just look at my tattoo and remember that it is a promise to always do my best. It is a badge I gave myself, and I have to prove to myself everyday that I deserve it by never giving up.
I believe some people do have it easier than others. Enjoying life to the fullest never came easy to me and I'd always look around and wonder how people do it. It always seemed automatic for them, whereas I'd struggle. But with this subliminal things are slowly being put into perspective for me. It's like I am able to see things that weren't there before. I'm realizing that beliefs really are an important factor to happiness, and it's just so simple and at the same time so complicated. I just hope in the future research will discover more about the human mind and its complexities.
Woke up today very tired. As the day progressed I started getting a major tension headache. So I laid down for a couple hours just relaxing my body and trying to relieve tension as much as possible. During this time I had a lot to think about.
I remembered back in middle school I got a girlfriend because everyone thought it was the cool thing to do. I never really understood why I dated the girl, all I know is that she was absolutely crazy about me. I figured I would give it a shot and let her go out with me lol. I was an incredibly quiet kid and had a ton of anxiety, so I'm sure I was very indifferent in her eyes. I didn't like talking on the phone, I barely hung out with her because it was nerve racking, I had no experience with girls so I had no idea what I was doing. Still she pretty much chased me.
It just made me wonder because even at that age I had self doubts. She would shower me with compliments and I'd just think she was lying or something. It just makes me wonder why some of us self-sabotage ourselves. As humans we are capable of so many things, but most people don't pursue their dreams or never live up to their potential. I remember when I was in high school I just felt like a failure. I didn't have evidence or proof that I was, I just felt like one.
About a year ago I designed my own tattoo. I wanted something personal, something nobody else had, and something that came directly from my own mind. Anytime I feel like giving up I just look at my tattoo and remember that it is a promise to always do my best. It is a badge I gave myself, and I have to prove to myself everyday that I deserve it by never giving up.
I believe some people do have it easier than others. Enjoying life to the fullest never came easy to me and I'd always look around and wonder how people do it. It always seemed automatic for them, whereas I'd struggle. But with this subliminal things are slowly being put into perspective for me. It's like I am able to see things that weren't there before. I'm realizing that beliefs really are an important factor to happiness, and it's just so simple and at the same time so complicated. I just hope in the future research will discover more about the human mind and its complexities.
