12-27-2014, 12:23 PM
(This post was last modified: 12-27-2014, 12:24 PM by Mystic Pymp.)
For my Walking Zen people are something like a scratch when you try to hold still. They are distraction, something my attention goes to automatically. I don't why, maybe some basic instinct to evaluate if random pedestrian is not a threat? Or some other mechanism I don't understand. All I know is that I need clear pavement for meditation to work. Gonna do more research on that for sure.
About the happiness thing - I've seen enough of people who are in relationship because "she's pretty" or "because she persisted and I didn't want to refuse" or the worst "I didn't want to be alone". I may not be the paragon of happiness right now, but I know that relationship because of either of those reasons wouldn't make me happy. It would be a burden for me in the end, source of guilt or other negative emotions. For now what I want is relationship on my terms, without her BS and with mutual understanding. She's gorgeous? So what if she's dumb? She's willing? So what if she's not up to my standards? I'm alone? So what, my happiness doesn't depends on anyone but me. I'm better this way.
Maybe with time it will change and I will turn into one night stand kind of guy not caring for anything longer than one week, but for now this is what I want.
About the happiness thing - I've seen enough of people who are in relationship because "she's pretty" or "because she persisted and I didn't want to refuse" or the worst "I didn't want to be alone". I may not be the paragon of happiness right now, but I know that relationship because of either of those reasons wouldn't make me happy. It would be a burden for me in the end, source of guilt or other negative emotions. For now what I want is relationship on my terms, without her BS and with mutual understanding. She's gorgeous? So what if she's dumb? She's willing? So what if she's not up to my standards? I'm alone? So what, my happiness doesn't depends on anyone but me. I'm better this way.
Maybe with time it will change and I will turn into one night stand kind of guy not caring for anything longer than one week, but for now this is what I want.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
