08-31-2014, 11:27 AM
Recovery from my pharmacological adventure is almost complete and getting back on track. A little of the numbness remains though.
Big cause of laziness I have found is perfectionism. So concerned about 'getting it right' that I just block myself from doing anything then dining anything well results in in the opposite that I just relax and become disengaged again - a lose lose.
The value that comes here is surrendering completely to the process and giving up entirely on success. It won't happen because its always going to a mother level. To be some kind of billionaire, self confident leader, who is a hit with all women has an amazing family life, is contented and happy and of benefit to the world wouldn't be enough - as unlikely and impossible as that even seems right now. Evolution is and has got to continue through a finite life and then it will be over. So success in that sense is just a fallacy.
When I find myself anxious about performance now my question to myself is, why are you trying to succeed? If you're trying to get an out come and are anxious about not attaining it are you really surrendered to the process?
This has invited a sense of I must just relax, the vision and the goal is there just to move me in the direction of growth as a man, every action should be toward that end otherwise it's just falling down on this core value / getting caught up in a foolish fallacy again.
That's all. Nothing otherwise to report.
Big cause of laziness I have found is perfectionism. So concerned about 'getting it right' that I just block myself from doing anything then dining anything well results in in the opposite that I just relax and become disengaged again - a lose lose.
The value that comes here is surrendering completely to the process and giving up entirely on success. It won't happen because its always going to a mother level. To be some kind of billionaire, self confident leader, who is a hit with all women has an amazing family life, is contented and happy and of benefit to the world wouldn't be enough - as unlikely and impossible as that even seems right now. Evolution is and has got to continue through a finite life and then it will be over. So success in that sense is just a fallacy.
When I find myself anxious about performance now my question to myself is, why are you trying to succeed? If you're trying to get an out come and are anxious about not attaining it are you really surrendered to the process?
This has invited a sense of I must just relax, the vision and the goal is there just to move me in the direction of growth as a man, every action should be toward that end otherwise it's just falling down on this core value / getting caught up in a foolish fallacy again.
That's all. Nothing otherwise to report.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
