08-25-2014, 01:41 PM
Thanks man., agree seeking mentors at work could make a big diff.
I can't help but feel there is some self sabotage going on, a few times I've left my phone off charge and it's run out of battery during the night, or I've done the same with my speakers. Anyway back on track listening.
This post might be a little macabre so sorry if it bums you out. X
Thoughts on death and my relation to it have been cropping up. I'll be honest and open, last week when I said it felt as though my mind was trying to kill me I meant it, I was having *those* thoughts.
Now I'm over it it's given me some perspective on my relationship to dying. In many ways when we hit discomfort, I think our resistance to it comes from survival instinct, somewhere in out minds there's a program that says whatever were resisting will some how kill us or rather letting go of the program we have will. The mind or ego is so fucked up that it's possible that it will start to say that it's better to not go on than suffer the discomfort that giving up the program entails, the program kind of goes back on itself and turns from survival to destruction.
Ok so why is this potentially important. Because it feeds into a frame which many have adopted before, the 'I'm ready to die for this' frame.
If you have a goal, and say you want to achieve it no matter what, you will be willing to die in the process if you must, resistance take a back seat as does almost everything else. 50 cents get rich or die trying is a prime example though I'd be surprised if many people didn't resonate with this - it's something that's been there for me certainly.
The difficulty is. Whilst life becomes simpler under this frame. It's not really conducive to health and well mental well being (I suspect). I want to be a millionaire in a years (in assets) time with a solid monthly income from my assets. If I go balls to the wall to achieve it though, will I become narrow? Will I just suck with women and socially?
I want this goal though, and I am willing to suck, shit if I'm willing to die in the process then sucking at everything else will be small.
Hopefully AM6 will keep me from turning into a complete lame ass during the process.
In other news, noticed a few other things. Cleaning lady was immensely giggly when I spoke to her today, a woman on thhe phone when I was talking to my bank started flirting with me, I have several women texting me a lot.
Room is cleaner than it's been in a long time. And I have begun a kundalini yoga meditation aimed at boosting your capacity for action and will power since this seems particularly week for me.
I can't help but feel there is some self sabotage going on, a few times I've left my phone off charge and it's run out of battery during the night, or I've done the same with my speakers. Anyway back on track listening.
This post might be a little macabre so sorry if it bums you out. X
Thoughts on death and my relation to it have been cropping up. I'll be honest and open, last week when I said it felt as though my mind was trying to kill me I meant it, I was having *those* thoughts.
Now I'm over it it's given me some perspective on my relationship to dying. In many ways when we hit discomfort, I think our resistance to it comes from survival instinct, somewhere in out minds there's a program that says whatever were resisting will some how kill us or rather letting go of the program we have will. The mind or ego is so fucked up that it's possible that it will start to say that it's better to not go on than suffer the discomfort that giving up the program entails, the program kind of goes back on itself and turns from survival to destruction.
Ok so why is this potentially important. Because it feeds into a frame which many have adopted before, the 'I'm ready to die for this' frame.
If you have a goal, and say you want to achieve it no matter what, you will be willing to die in the process if you must, resistance take a back seat as does almost everything else. 50 cents get rich or die trying is a prime example though I'd be surprised if many people didn't resonate with this - it's something that's been there for me certainly.
The difficulty is. Whilst life becomes simpler under this frame. It's not really conducive to health and well mental well being (I suspect). I want to be a millionaire in a years (in assets) time with a solid monthly income from my assets. If I go balls to the wall to achieve it though, will I become narrow? Will I just suck with women and socially?
I want this goal though, and I am willing to suck, shit if I'm willing to die in the process then sucking at everything else will be small.
Hopefully AM6 will keep me from turning into a complete lame ass during the process.
In other news, noticed a few other things. Cleaning lady was immensely giggly when I spoke to her today, a woman on thhe phone when I was talking to my bank started flirting with me, I have several women texting me a lot.
Room is cleaner than it's been in a long time. And I have begun a kundalini yoga meditation aimed at boosting your capacity for action and will power since this seems particularly week for me.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
