If it's of some use then I'm glad .
I'm glad to be putting myself out there more, went out with a girl last night and it was pretty lame, I mean she seemed to be having a great time but I was bored stiff, I lost interest in her half way through and all my interest when I realised I was going to get nothing at all out of the evening and out of knowing her further.
Several things came to light.
I have a hatred in me. I hate that I'm nice and non aggressive and I get friend zoned. This wrongly gets transferred onto others, women I'm interested in, the men that they might end up seeing - the anger this generates is freaky, ultimately it boils down to hating that I'm not good enough that someone had confirmed this with their disinterest and then has gone on to say another is just plain better.
I noticed this because although I was not interested in this girl I was jealous at the thought that she might be interested in a friend of mine.
I'm working to clear this today - it's holding me back from being who I want to be and so it has to go.
I also am still smarting over my lack of progress in life, the simple fact that most people around me have moved up on the career ladder and I'm still on the bottom rung - RAAAGE!!!
I think the second issue is actually quite positive though.
Anyway I see on the forum a lot of PSTEC talk so I'm going to check that bad boy out to see if it helps with clearing some of this bullshit
I'm glad to be putting myself out there more, went out with a girl last night and it was pretty lame, I mean she seemed to be having a great time but I was bored stiff, I lost interest in her half way through and all my interest when I realised I was going to get nothing at all out of the evening and out of knowing her further.
Several things came to light.
I have a hatred in me. I hate that I'm nice and non aggressive and I get friend zoned. This wrongly gets transferred onto others, women I'm interested in, the men that they might end up seeing - the anger this generates is freaky, ultimately it boils down to hating that I'm not good enough that someone had confirmed this with their disinterest and then has gone on to say another is just plain better.
I noticed this because although I was not interested in this girl I was jealous at the thought that she might be interested in a friend of mine.
I'm working to clear this today - it's holding me back from being who I want to be and so it has to go.
I also am still smarting over my lack of progress in life, the simple fact that most people around me have moved up on the career ladder and I'm still on the bottom rung - RAAAGE!!!
I think the second issue is actually quite positive though.
Anyway I see on the forum a lot of PSTEC talk so I'm going to check that bad boy out to see if it helps with clearing some of this bullshit
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
