Absolute Self confidence journal

[Jay]

I've got the following out of a depression self help book. If you have more than four of these underlying symptoms for a period more than two weeks, then you can be diagnosed with 'major' depression (as summarized in the book itself). Even though labeling yourself something can be seen as victim mentality, it also helps to acknowledge any problems (if there are any), and makes you look for a solution instead of just wondering what the hell is happening.

• Depressed mood
  
• Loss of pleasure or interest in usual activities
  
• Disturbance of appetite
  
• Sleep disturbance
  
• Feeling agitated or lethargic
  
• Loss of energy
  
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
  
• Difficulties in thinking
  
• Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
  

Personally I think being a loner is fine, as long as you're fine with it. This however depends on it being a choice, rather than what your social status would permit. If it's the latter, you're coming from a place of lack, and in that case you'll only start comparing yourself with other people and the worrying and self deprecation starts which in itself will definitely lead to depression.

I don't get as much satisfaction talking and conversing like other people seem to do.

What I clearly get out of that quote is things I already sorta described; Black and white / perfectionist thinking, comparing yourself with others, feeling like you're lacking something.

Let me ask you this, have you ever had a conversation in your life that was satisfactory? Focus on those experiences, I think you can debunk that quote Also you must have had conversations that were more satisfactory than other people's conversations.

Also people are selfish beings, the only way you can converse about something in a passionate way are only things that you identify or relate on a deep level with, and can be completely open and comfortable expressing with because you like it so much, and you want to share the joy, and even if this doesn't work it's still their loss. Some people who can relate will like or hate it, people who can't relate with it won't care. Also if you're passionate about something it can have a tendency to become infectious. And they'll start caring about it. They want to see what they're missing, what you have that they're lacking.

People only like to talk about themselves and the wondrous things they relate to or have personal interest, or put emotional value into. They also like to listen, as long as it is in their personal interest, as long as they can identify themselves with it and it seems to have value and they will walk away a better person after the conversation (this could also imply lending an ear in return for a favor that they might ask for in return later on).

The basis is this; If you want to have a satisfactory conversation with someone, then you're the person that is going to have to bring it to the table. Also if you have a tendency to shy away from people they'll easily think that you're an arrogant picrk that thinks that he is too good for them, or that you're simply not interested. Also if they have to put effort into you, for in order for you to care about something, they can find plenty of other people that don't need a push. You can't expect them to open all up and smoothly talk about "stuff" when the person opposite of them isn't opening all up and is smoothly talking about stuff