Delta's AM6 Journal

[robstar]

Stage 5 has been going absolutely great so far. Things have finally done a 180 (maybe 120 lol) degree turn around. I'm feeling happy 80% of the time, neutral 15%, and unhappy 5%. It's quite amazing.

We went out the bars one night and I had a lot of fun. I felt on top of the world. I wish I could always feel like that (but I can't always be drunk lol). I don't get it though, every time we go to the country-rock bar and I'm just dancing and singing by myself, some milf always comes up and starts dancing on me. I was quite drunk so I can't say for sure, but my friends were saying she was pretty hot. I did try to kiss her once and she pulled away and I didn't even care and didn't even react. She introduced me to her sister too, who was also quite hot. Then we went to another bar and I wound up talking with 3 other girls the whole time, I barely spent time with my friends. Two of them were hot, but of course I wound up getting the third girl's phone number. She's one of those girls who would be really hot if she lost 40 lbs. But I don't even care about girls a whole lot at the moment for some reason, and that is why I believe my neediness has been drastically reduced. I'll contradict what I just said though really quick here and say that yesterday and today, I actually have made an effort to talk to girls...but with no expectations. Other people around work, older full-time staff (not student workers), have been talking to me too. I'm not fully used to it.

I've also been a hell of a lot more productive at work and in life. A new position at work has opened up and I will be having an interview for it. It's one of the 5 highest positions a student can hold in our department. Our supervisor is "resigning" (I'm pretty sure he got in trouble) and will be stepping down to the position I am at. So it's between my current co-worker and I who will be getting the job. My co-worker is younger than me and has been at the current position longer than me, so he has seniority, but I'm pretty sure my managerial skills are beyond his which is why I'm sure I'll get the job. I've also been interacting, getting to know, working with, and even joking around with the old lady who is the head of the entire department, so if she has any say in who gets the job, it's a no-brainer. We also had quite the crisis at work today and I jumped on that right away and took care of it. I've been making more decisions and taking charge lately. I wish I could join the military or do something more important with my life because I feel like I'd be a great leader (not a jerk boss). I think I can feel the Carpe Diem sub starting to manifest. I don't even like to sit around and watch tv shows or movies anymore. I'd rather play my guitar, workout, run, or even just clean the house.

This all sounds fine and great, but my problem is that I don't feel like I'll be able to apply all this energy to school once it starts up. I want to actually work and get things accomplished in this world...but I do also want to graduate. So we'll see. The new 5G sub that includes BASE, US, and all that sounds fantastic. I do plan on doing that at some point. Now, if we can get that ultimate learning sub made that includes all those goodies and helps me focus on school, I'd be willing to pay $250 for it.

I'll also note that I haven't had a dream, or at least can't remember any, for a very very very long time now. I wonder why that is.

Everything seems to be falling in place finally.

That's great to hear bud! Especially since I start stage 5 in a about 5 days, woooo! I'm already noticing things starting to come together.