10-31-2010, 11:12 AM
Some new effects is that I find it very hard to procrastinate lately.I working a lot towards my goals and doing lots of things everyday now.
It's also pushing me out of my comfort zone to doing new things and trying
new ways of doing stuff and reading and learning more.
Also had urges to become more independent,not wanting to work more for other people and having bosses and telling me what to do.
I have been thinking about my values and what is important to me in life.
Even less neediness than before.A lot of it came from wanting others to accept me when I didn't like myself.Getting women or sex doesn't solve anything.I realized today it's OK not to worry about it or chase women when I don't want to.They are more like normal people now.
I never realized I had such distorted beliefs about it.It frees lot's
of mental energy to other more useful things.
I feel a lot better now when I push myself towards my goals.It's hard to waste time now.I don't even get close to the TV.Sometimes I'll go to the living room and other people are watching and I can't understand it and I walk away.Also the same with computer games.I received mass effect as a gift and I wanted to play it for a long time.I can't do it.
It's also less acceptable for me to do less than the best I can.
Sometimes old memories of me doing things well are coming,it's like with
the bad memories flashbacks at the start but different.It's like putting a different focus on my life and changing my perception of myself.
I also care less about proving stuff to others and trying to impress them.
It's also pushing me out of my comfort zone to doing new things and trying
new ways of doing stuff and reading and learning more.
Also had urges to become more independent,not wanting to work more for other people and having bosses and telling me what to do.
I have been thinking about my values and what is important to me in life.
Even less neediness than before.A lot of it came from wanting others to accept me when I didn't like myself.Getting women or sex doesn't solve anything.I realized today it's OK not to worry about it or chase women when I don't want to.They are more like normal people now.
I never realized I had such distorted beliefs about it.It frees lot's
of mental energy to other more useful things.
I feel a lot better now when I push myself towards my goals.It's hard to waste time now.I don't even get close to the TV.Sometimes I'll go to the living room and other people are watching and I can't understand it and I walk away.Also the same with computer games.I received mass effect as a gift and I wanted to play it for a long time.I can't do it.
It's also less acceptable for me to do less than the best I can.
Sometimes old memories of me doing things well are coming,it's like with
the bad memories flashbacks at the start but different.It's like putting a different focus on my life and changing my perception of myself.
I also care less about proving stuff to others and trying to impress them.
