05-06-2014, 11:37 AM
Alright, it's been a while so I'll update.
Inwardly I feel great. Outwardly, things need to improve. I've come to accept that I failed all my classes this semester. It's my fault, my choices, my actions, and I need to pull my head out of my ass from here on out. It sucks, but I have to deal with it. I don't know if they're going to kick me out of the engineering school, but I'm going to just do what I can when Fall semester starts. I don't know what to do yet, but I'm going to deal with it the best I can.
Aside from that, things are going good for the most part. I bought Audioengine A2+ speakers and have each one on each side of my bed. Now, I can hear the ultrasonic track loud and clear so I don't know if that affects the sub. It's quite weird actually, when I have my head between the speakers I hear it, when I move my head some inches off my mattress/pillow, it becomes much quieter. FrequenSee (the iPhone app) confirms this with showing less decibels. I'm assuming there's destructive interference and that may have something to do with it. (I have it calibrated correctly) What concerns me is that the other day I was very nauseated. I didn't go to work, and it was later that evening I realized it was most likely a migraine. I know my mom gets them once in a while, I can't remember if I've ever had that before, but I'm wondering if it was from the sub. I had listened to the ultrasonic track every night for over a week and it was all good, maybe this was just coincidence. I'm a little nervous to listen to the ultra track on a weeknight now, so I played the stream track last night. I'll try the ultra track in a couple days.
I have been working on improving my self-talk too. I used to just always beat myself up talking to myself in my head. 90% of it was from failing school over and over again, and how much I hate working out. Now while I workout, if I notice negative thoughts coming up, I just keep repeating in my head "I love lifting weights and running." I've also started to just read the scripts from Ultra-Success, Overcome Procrastination, and Improve Grades and Study Habits, just to get a good base going. This semester is a lost cause, but I wanna prepare for next semester. I've also started to become a bit less lazy and am getting things around the house and at work taken care of. I feel bad when I don't accomplish things, and I feel great when I do accomplish things. I'm improving in small steps.
As for AM6, I haven't noticed anything significant or different. Maybe these small steps to recovery are from it, and maybe not. It could just be from me deciding to end negative self-talk and knowing that I'll succeed. Or...maybe that's from AM6 too, I don't know, this is messing with my head now lol. I certainly don't feel like an Alpha Male, but there's still 2 stages left (half way through Stage 4). And since I'm coming from a hardcore insecure beta position, I'm sure I'd benefit from more than one run through. It's a bit comforting (or maybe it's a bad thing) that other people haven't noticed much from AM6 yet, but I sure hope this thing works. I can't even take a wild guess at what the surprise might be too.
Inwardly I feel great. Outwardly, things need to improve. I've come to accept that I failed all my classes this semester. It's my fault, my choices, my actions, and I need to pull my head out of my ass from here on out. It sucks, but I have to deal with it. I don't know if they're going to kick me out of the engineering school, but I'm going to just do what I can when Fall semester starts. I don't know what to do yet, but I'm going to deal with it the best I can.
Aside from that, things are going good for the most part. I bought Audioengine A2+ speakers and have each one on each side of my bed. Now, I can hear the ultrasonic track loud and clear so I don't know if that affects the sub. It's quite weird actually, when I have my head between the speakers I hear it, when I move my head some inches off my mattress/pillow, it becomes much quieter. FrequenSee (the iPhone app) confirms this with showing less decibels. I'm assuming there's destructive interference and that may have something to do with it. (I have it calibrated correctly) What concerns me is that the other day I was very nauseated. I didn't go to work, and it was later that evening I realized it was most likely a migraine. I know my mom gets them once in a while, I can't remember if I've ever had that before, but I'm wondering if it was from the sub. I had listened to the ultrasonic track every night for over a week and it was all good, maybe this was just coincidence. I'm a little nervous to listen to the ultra track on a weeknight now, so I played the stream track last night. I'll try the ultra track in a couple days.
I have been working on improving my self-talk too. I used to just always beat myself up talking to myself in my head. 90% of it was from failing school over and over again, and how much I hate working out. Now while I workout, if I notice negative thoughts coming up, I just keep repeating in my head "I love lifting weights and running." I've also started to just read the scripts from Ultra-Success, Overcome Procrastination, and Improve Grades and Study Habits, just to get a good base going. This semester is a lost cause, but I wanna prepare for next semester. I've also started to become a bit less lazy and am getting things around the house and at work taken care of. I feel bad when I don't accomplish things, and I feel great when I do accomplish things. I'm improving in small steps.
As for AM6, I haven't noticed anything significant or different. Maybe these small steps to recovery are from it, and maybe not. It could just be from me deciding to end negative self-talk and knowing that I'll succeed. Or...maybe that's from AM6 too, I don't know, this is messing with my head now lol. I certainly don't feel like an Alpha Male, but there's still 2 stages left (half way through Stage 4). And since I'm coming from a hardcore insecure beta position, I'm sure I'd benefit from more than one run through. It's a bit comforting (or maybe it's a bad thing) that other people haven't noticed much from AM6 yet, but I sure hope this thing works. I can't even take a wild guess at what the surprise might be too.
