04-04-2014, 07:46 AM
Day 40 of LTU:
My biggest problem right now is my laziness. I won't even tap because I've become very comfortable with my situation. I'm just settling for where I'm at.
I'm not particularly happy, but I'm not sad.
Not particularly fulfilled, but better than where I was at before.
I'm just somewhere in the middle of my life lol. In between greatness I could easily reach by being more proactive, and my old habits.
I'm not sure exactly where the problem lies. Every time I go to do work it feels like I have to fight myself, like tooth and nail, just to get some stuff done. I'm fine with that to an extent but I'm worried I'm hurting myself in some way because it doesn't feel very natural. I feel like if I repress this emotion it'll just come back much bigger and mess with me later in my journey. It's extremely frustrating.
My second biggest problem is caring excessively what others think. I'm worried what they'll say if I become alpha, not to mention that it's going to be a complete life change for me.
As of now, I've become slightly more aggressive and assertive and I know some of my friends aren't liking it so much, but my biggest fear is actually a strangers opinion lol.
I'm worried a stranger will see me out on the street and be like "oh wow what an asshole." Or "what a freak, ew"
I realized last night that I've been heavily repressing myself to avoid being taunted or getting into trouble, and now that I've sensed that I'm back to dealing with an old set of fears.
And I could tap away on a bunch of this stuff, but I'm so lazy I won't even help myself, argh!
In other news though I've begun doing natural grounding. I really, really enjoy it. I only started last night so I have no real effects to report.
I've also begun doing self talk. Whenever I hear a voice doing negative self talk, I make it say something nice. Since I trust the negative voices in my head more than the positive ones, them saying something nice is really encouraging to me.
I've noticed micro changes in the way I act too. I now walk more confidently, I participate on forums more than before, smile a lot more. Now whenever I put on the sub I get a really nice warm feeling.
My biggest problem right now is my laziness. I won't even tap because I've become very comfortable with my situation. I'm just settling for where I'm at.
I'm not particularly happy, but I'm not sad.
Not particularly fulfilled, but better than where I was at before.
I'm just somewhere in the middle of my life lol. In between greatness I could easily reach by being more proactive, and my old habits.
I'm not sure exactly where the problem lies. Every time I go to do work it feels like I have to fight myself, like tooth and nail, just to get some stuff done. I'm fine with that to an extent but I'm worried I'm hurting myself in some way because it doesn't feel very natural. I feel like if I repress this emotion it'll just come back much bigger and mess with me later in my journey. It's extremely frustrating.
My second biggest problem is caring excessively what others think. I'm worried what they'll say if I become alpha, not to mention that it's going to be a complete life change for me.
As of now, I've become slightly more aggressive and assertive and I know some of my friends aren't liking it so much, but my biggest fear is actually a strangers opinion lol.
I'm worried a stranger will see me out on the street and be like "oh wow what an asshole." Or "what a freak, ew"
I realized last night that I've been heavily repressing myself to avoid being taunted or getting into trouble, and now that I've sensed that I'm back to dealing with an old set of fears.
And I could tap away on a bunch of this stuff, but I'm so lazy I won't even help myself, argh!
In other news though I've begun doing natural grounding. I really, really enjoy it. I only started last night so I have no real effects to report.
I've also begun doing self talk. Whenever I hear a voice doing negative self talk, I make it say something nice. Since I trust the negative voices in my head more than the positive ones, them saying something nice is really encouraging to me.
I've noticed micro changes in the way I act too. I now walk more confidently, I participate on forums more than before, smile a lot more. Now whenever I put on the sub I get a really nice warm feeling.
