2014 - The Year Of LionMonkey

[LionMonkey]

STAGE 5 – DAY 13 - Changes

The storm has settled since my last post.

I had a breakdown and cried all my emotions out. It felt good. I am now sure that my girl and I are in an exclusive relationship.

Some things I’ve noticed where I’m naturally Alpha
- I enter the bus, all seats taken and I see a woman looking in despair, not able to get out of the bus, since the bus-driver didn’t open the back doors.
I yell towards his direction to open the doors behind.

- In the men’s locker room there were 2 adults. I walked in and saw a mobile phone on the floor. They both talked about it but didn’t do anything. I asked them if it was theirs and it wasn’t. I looked in the phonebook and it was some little kids, tried to call the mom but no money on the phone.. so I handed it to the reception of the sports center.

- I’m taking things much less seriously.. like they have no power or effect over me.

- I’m able to keep myself grounded more.

These are some things that I’ve noticed. It’s very hard to notice most of the times because it’s like ME and I’m too close to myself to be able to notice big differences.

On the other side, last night I went to my friend’s birthday. We were 9 people in total to dinner. I haven’t seen 7 of them in over 6 months and I felt extremely uncomfortable in the beginning.

When I did talk, I talked with certainty but I wasn’t able to flow because I just felt that uncomfortable.
I’m always pretty quiet in social settings where there are more than 3-4 people. Not that it bothers me much but it would be cool to be the one who everybody is listening to most of the time.

I’m already a really good-looking, cute, sexy and respected guy. Sometimes I may come off as offensive when I’m speaking, so it would mean I need to take a lot of responsibility when I’m the one talking the most.
I would probably walk on some people’s toes if I just let myself flow freely without thinking about what I’m saying.

At least that’s what I sometimes did with my girl. Hurting her feelings.

Habit experiment

I’ve missed few days with gratitude in the morning, writing 800 words and reading out loud, recorded, but that was mostly because of the turmoil with my girl and my breakdown.

That also means that I haven’t added any new habits those days but I’m back on the horse, my needs are taken care of and I’m ready to ruuuuuuuumble!

- Out JL

(It appears that the loading time is longer than usual on the forum and I sometimes get this:

502 Bad Gateway

nginx/1.4.4)