AM 5, Stage 3 - Day 11
OGSF - Day 42
noFAP - Day 34
Positives
- I quit the acting class. Not much time to rehearse and to learn all the dialogues. The good news is the way I did it - I was man enough to go other there and speak face to face with the teacher. I looked her in the eyes, no emotions attached. This is a big progress as before when I had a lot of tensions in this kind of situations.
EDIT - the acting class was free of charge. It was to organize a play with some teachers and it required some commitment from my part until June. But they didn't tell me all the details from the beginning and with one teacher we are kind of colleagues in other social gathering. It was kind of win on their side - not such a win on mine. Only memorizing, nothing special. Big plus for me by saying no without caring.
- I noticed this several weeks ago - people respect me more. They are attentive to what I have to say.
- at work, my manager likes me. I was proactive in a natural way and she respects me a lot. Win - win deal so far and no bullshit. She believes in me, she told me last week to to help her with a presentation on a specific topic in a Department meeting in front of my colleagues. I don't know them very well because I don't work with them (I work on projects and my colleagues are in other countries and different teams.) Plus she protects me.
- at Toastmasters, I think I am back on track. Next time, I will not take breaks for 2 months as I will almost lose everything gained so far. My body language, confidence during speaking improved a lot. My voice improved but still it is not as powerful as when I did Deepen your voice Sub. So, I am doing physical exercises to improve my voice as I cannot add another sub right now.
- when smth isn't going the way I wanted or planned, I don't care too much. Waw, I think my attachment on the outcome decreased a lot.
- good progress with competition speech preparation. By quitting the acting stuff, I have more time to work on it and to visit different TM clubs.
Negatives
- big problems with procrastinations and passivity as described in the last posts.
- still kind of shy in front of beautiful women. But, it improved quite a bit compared to previous months.
- extremely afraid of impromptu speeches - smth had to be done and I don't know what. It's a question of mindset. I have to take it in a playful way and to accept being vulnerable in front of an audience.
Next week, I will have 2 speeches in 2 TM clubs. In one of them I've never been before so it will be an opportunity to check how much my confidence improved by facing a new audience.
The way AM5 and OGSF work, I am thinking seriously to continue with AM6.
OGSF - Day 42
noFAP - Day 34
Positives
- I quit the acting class. Not much time to rehearse and to learn all the dialogues. The good news is the way I did it - I was man enough to go other there and speak face to face with the teacher. I looked her in the eyes, no emotions attached. This is a big progress as before when I had a lot of tensions in this kind of situations.
EDIT - the acting class was free of charge. It was to organize a play with some teachers and it required some commitment from my part until June. But they didn't tell me all the details from the beginning and with one teacher we are kind of colleagues in other social gathering. It was kind of win on their side - not such a win on mine. Only memorizing, nothing special. Big plus for me by saying no without caring.
- I noticed this several weeks ago - people respect me more. They are attentive to what I have to say.
- at work, my manager likes me. I was proactive in a natural way and she respects me a lot. Win - win deal so far and no bullshit. She believes in me, she told me last week to to help her with a presentation on a specific topic in a Department meeting in front of my colleagues. I don't know them very well because I don't work with them (I work on projects and my colleagues are in other countries and different teams.) Plus she protects me.
- at Toastmasters, I think I am back on track. Next time, I will not take breaks for 2 months as I will almost lose everything gained so far. My body language, confidence during speaking improved a lot. My voice improved but still it is not as powerful as when I did Deepen your voice Sub. So, I am doing physical exercises to improve my voice as I cannot add another sub right now.
- when smth isn't going the way I wanted or planned, I don't care too much. Waw, I think my attachment on the outcome decreased a lot.
- good progress with competition speech preparation. By quitting the acting stuff, I have more time to work on it and to visit different TM clubs.
Negatives
- big problems with procrastinations and passivity as described in the last posts.
- still kind of shy in front of beautiful women. But, it improved quite a bit compared to previous months.
- extremely afraid of impromptu speeches - smth had to be done and I don't know what. It's a question of mindset. I have to take it in a playful way and to accept being vulnerable in front of an audience.
Next week, I will have 2 speeches in 2 TM clubs. In one of them I've never been before so it will be an opportunity to check how much my confidence improved by facing a new audience.
The way AM5 and OGSF work, I am thinking seriously to continue with AM6.
