About's WM2.0 Journal

[About]

Today I was talking to someone at my newest job. She said that I didn't know how to talk to women and her main point was that it's like I don't have a filter, and i need to be more sensitive to women in terms of what I say. Her example was something I said today when we were talking about food and eating. She said something along the lines of "i could not stop eating" and i jokingly said to her "I know this is mean so i really don't mean it, but i would say 'maybe it's time you stopped". She definitely knows I was joking guys, because she's actually my boss and I'm still employed

This isn't the first time someone has told me that I don't filter what goes through my mouth. My ex has told me this too, sometimes I'm just really mean and douchey (her words). I am finding a trend here. My good male friend has also told me that i am sometimes rude but he knows that I do not mean it.

I attribute this to when I was younger, I found that people were very nasty to me, so it's something of a defensive mechanism where I believe that if people were so mean to me before why would it matter what I say? I find it hard to really draw the line on where something is joking and funny or joking and really mean.

I'm not sure what I'm doing, but I guess i'm posting this because I want some help? I have accepted this as something that is a part of me (i think this is something i came to terms with through AM?), but I would like to be less nasty.