07-14-2013, 08:31 AM
Gents,
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I have no intention of stopping BAMM. I've learned from my past experience with the subs that with the pain, anguish, and darkness comes growth. The fog of self-doubt is already starting to lift and the evidences of growth are appearing.
One interesting artifact of this growth is eye contact. I thought after AM that I had mastered eye contact, but apparently I had more room to grow.
I noticed in the first stages of BAMM that all improvements from previous subs regarding eye contact disappeared. I found this very annoying; I could not maintain eye contact with anybody. The familiar eye twitching from my past that occurred when I looked into someone else’s eyes returned.
Before BAMM I would keep eye contact with someone else, but consciously make a decision to break eye contact. The conscious decision occurred because I was walking past and did not want to move my head, or I did not want to infer anything inappropriate with the gaze, or I did not want to cause embarrassment to the other. Under direct conversation, face to face, I would maintain eye contact with ease. But in passing with strangers I would break when I thought it was a good time to stop. Now I don’t even consider the other person’s state, feelings, or reaction. I continue to hold eye contact long after the other person has looked away. I find that often they will look again and when they do I'm sill looking at them. The behavior is now a natural part of me.
Just as there was a fundamental change in eye contact, I also have observed other areas of my life that are transforming. The transformation is not complete, it still a work in progress. But I see a good foundation.
The insecurities regarding my job have substantially decreased. The lion of my personality which includes command and authority have reemerged with a vengeance. I took to task several executives in front of their peers and they backed down. This is the characteristic I expect of a BAMM businessman. We go up against obstacles that are much greater and we win.
I'm beginning to see a path to BAMM. I still do not possess the passion, the drive, or the motivation to work in that direction, but I do see the path.
Dudes again thanks for the encouraging words. All, knowing that what is happening during my journey is not unique is very important to my growth.
The journey continues
AYD
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I have no intention of stopping BAMM. I've learned from my past experience with the subs that with the pain, anguish, and darkness comes growth. The fog of self-doubt is already starting to lift and the evidences of growth are appearing.
One interesting artifact of this growth is eye contact. I thought after AM that I had mastered eye contact, but apparently I had more room to grow.
I noticed in the first stages of BAMM that all improvements from previous subs regarding eye contact disappeared. I found this very annoying; I could not maintain eye contact with anybody. The familiar eye twitching from my past that occurred when I looked into someone else’s eyes returned.
Before BAMM I would keep eye contact with someone else, but consciously make a decision to break eye contact. The conscious decision occurred because I was walking past and did not want to move my head, or I did not want to infer anything inappropriate with the gaze, or I did not want to cause embarrassment to the other. Under direct conversation, face to face, I would maintain eye contact with ease. But in passing with strangers I would break when I thought it was a good time to stop. Now I don’t even consider the other person’s state, feelings, or reaction. I continue to hold eye contact long after the other person has looked away. I find that often they will look again and when they do I'm sill looking at them. The behavior is now a natural part of me.
Just as there was a fundamental change in eye contact, I also have observed other areas of my life that are transforming. The transformation is not complete, it still a work in progress. But I see a good foundation.
The insecurities regarding my job have substantially decreased. The lion of my personality which includes command and authority have reemerged with a vengeance. I took to task several executives in front of their peers and they backed down. This is the characteristic I expect of a BAMM businessman. We go up against obstacles that are much greater and we win.
I'm beginning to see a path to BAMM. I still do not possess the passion, the drive, or the motivation to work in that direction, but I do see the path.
Dudes again thanks for the encouraging words. All, knowing that what is happening during my journey is not unique is very important to my growth.
The journey continues
AYD
