Overcome Fear, Guilt, and Shame

[mat422]

I don't have much to offer them except the fact that I'm a reliable worker and I work hard.

Mat,

Do not devalue yourself: a good reliable worker is a rarity these days.

This just reminds me how I tend to believe that that most people think the same way as me. But I guess when I do think about it there are people out there that don't have the same level of work ethic as me.

___________________________________________________________

I think that last post I had was just me venting. There's been a lot of changes and discoveries, frustrations, and confusion. But I think I discovered something important today. I think my biggest fear is what I can become. I fear being successful, confident, happy, and feeling good. And I think it's because the more I start to grow in that direction the more hate I'm gonna get thrown my way.

I've been facing my fears, but what I failed to realize is that I held onto that low self esteem. No matter how many fears I overcame I didn't even think that I was afraid of success. But I can see now how it's been my biggest block.

So I've been using EFT on eliminating those blocks in me from becoming a happy successful person. In a way I guess it was a defense mechanism. I knew deep down if I became more confident it would open me up to more negativity, so I feared that. Instead I held onto this low status position because I felt it was safer.

It's funny though. I'm not surrounded by any of these people that want to keep me down. I just feel like there are these voices in my head telling me this stuff. I don't know if it's what I've learned over the years or I'm just doing it to myself out of internal sense of hate. If I focus on becoming confident it's like my internal dialogue says to me that I'm a faker, everyone is gonna see right through me, I'm being inauthentic, to stop lying to myself, etc. I don't understand why that happens.