Roy's Alpha Male Journal

[Roy]

Majordomus wrote
b) I realized that my thoughts wander less and less to that woman whom I thought was perfection incarnated.
She seems a distant memory, something I am putting closure on more and more. I still appreciate her beauty, but I seem to be growing into accepting she is nothing I can posses or control or feed on.

Absolutely a lot less thinking about women.It's so refreshing.I absolutely got over my breakup and not worried about attracting other women.And I had that a lot.Not thinking or worrying about that.No neediness,they can come or go I just don't seem to care.

i) I seem to ocassionaly sort of "fall in love with myself" appreciating myself and who I am, whatever it is.
j) I am not feeling aggression anymore for the time being, just calm and distant.

Not the first one yet.I accept my self more and a lot less negative and worried about stuff.The first stage cleared lots of garbage.I am more calm and distant.

a) I can feel changes and shifts in my core, as the AM continues to hammer its way into my subconscious. There are moments, usually accompanied by resistance or feeling of emptiness, occurring just before I let go of someone or something.

Yes,things inside are changing.The thing is it looks normal now,it just comes
out of me.I don't think about it or try to do things differently.

d)instead of thinking what I should be and do to get any girl, I seem to more ask myself the question what is she bringing to me.

Shockingly enough I seem to develop standards about girls too.It used to be
if she is attracted to me and looks good enough so great
Not now.I ask myself now if she is good enough and stuff like that.
And not excited or even little bit clingy when some girl shows she is attracted to me.I have no idea how that happened.

What I noticed that I touch more during conversations with other people.
And with girls I am attracted to,that's fun.Prior to the set I actually had to remind myself to do that.

I wish that at the end of the set you could go back in time and see myself before I started.I don't understand now lots of the things I did or why I did them.