LionMonkey is a WM 5G

[Shannon]

LM, I see you out there trying, and making the approaches, and you have my respect for that, but you're making a lot of mistakes. Some of which I can see in your reporting, and some I probably cannot.

The first mistake I see you making is, you're trying too hard. This screams "desperate" to women. You have the willingness to approach, but your approach is wrong, and it's turning them off. You also need to remember that different types of women congregate in different places. In my area, there are places I can go to find ghetto girls, hicks/cowgirl/redneck types, foreigners, young women, older women, cougars, easy women, poor women, rich women, low class women, high class women, middle class women, gay women, bisexual women, straight women, artsy women, barflies, smokers, non-smokers, heavy drinkers, light drinkers, teetotalers, MILFs, egomaniacs, and others. Do you think maybe I adjust my approach to the type of woman I am dealing with? If I approached every woman with the same approach, guess what happens? It turns into a numbers game, and house wins, not me.

Skilled hunters don't hunt every type of game with the same technique, or the same tools. They adjust for the terrain, the climate, the game and other factors. Unskilled hunters try to hunt elephants with a rabbit gun, or rabbits with an elephant gun. Guess what happens when you do that? I'll tell you what. You get trampled by a pissed off elephant, or you blow your rabbit all to hell and there's nothing left. It's the same thing with women. You're out hunting every kind of game (girl) with an elephant gun (very aggressive and direct, but un-calibrated approach).

Some girls require finesse to approach effectively. Some need a ridiculously aggressive and direct approach. Some need to be talked in. Some need to be touched in. They're all different, and you can't get far with a blind approach. You have to observe your game, determine what type of game you're dealing with, and what she's telling you about herself and her response to you. You have to adjust your approach to match the woman. Not yourself, but your approach.

You also have to stop approaching every woman who looks slightly interesting to you. This is probably a big part of what's getting you blown out. When you do this, women will see you do it and label you what I call a "down the liner". A guy who asks a woman out, and she rejects him, and then he goes to the next one, and she rejects him, and he does this with all of them and they all reject him. And they do this, because if the first girl rejects you, they will all be judged by the other women according to the social status and response of that first girl and the impact that will have on their own social status and reputation.

So let's say, like the typical guy, you look around and find the hottest girl in the whole place, and approach. She shoots you down. Then you go to the one you judge to be the second hottest, and get shot down again. Then you go to the third, and fourth, and fifth and so on. And they all shoot you down.

Why? Because first of all, you probably went straight for the highest status woman in the entire place, and did it the same way every other guy has done it for the last 3,000 years. She's seen it, heard it, and been there and done that. She knows you better than you do. She wants something different than "just like all the rest", because the leader is going to be the one who does things differently, and who stands out. So she shot you down, and in that moment, you had a choice to make. Do I keep trying with this one, or do I give up for the night, or do I move on to the next one?

The average guy women in a club encounter does the last option. The guy they really want and respond to does one of the other two, depending on his skill and style. If he is very skilled and of high status himself, he will turn her rejection around on her and either blow her out, or get her to reverse her decision. Trying with a woman who is high status who has already blown you out is going to be suicide otherwise.

So the other thing an experienced hunter will do is stop there and just enjoy himself in the otherwise available ways. This leaves him with having been rejected by the highest status woman in the room, sure, but it also implies that he is of about equal status to her, because he did not go approaching the lesser women also. A woman will judge your status by the status of the women to approach, and their response to you. So if you go "down the line", you're just progressively saying you have lower and lower value, because you have lower and lower status. After all, high status guys go for only high status girls.

You're also broadcasting that you're desperate, because a man who isn't won't approach many women. He will spend time selecting the one he is really interested in, and then approach her and her alone for the night, or at least while all the women who observe him do so are present. If he gets shot down, but then has a good time and does not approach anyone else, he is being judged to have a status lower than the woman he approached, but not by much. He therefore becomes MORE desirable to the rest of the women in attendance, and if they are of equal or lower status to what they judge him to have, they will want him more -- not because he got shot down, but because of how he handled it, and himself after the fact. Getting shot down is one of the shit tests a woman will give to see what you're made of. If you respond appropriately, you can actually increase your success and status because of it.

A desperate man scares women away, and earns himself a very low status rating from women. At that point, only a low self esteem/low status female will respond to him, if anyone does.

And last but not least, you're insulting the women by doing the "down the line" thing, because that says that none of them is really special to you, you just want to fuck anything that will let you. It says none of them have any value to you beyond what's between their legs, and does not make them feel good about themselves, special valuable, important, worthwhile, etc. That is a turn-off on top of a subtle insult.

So it is no wonder to me that you had that result.

When I go out hunting, I will spend time observing the females in attendance before I pick ONE I really am interested in, and then I will approach her and her alone while I am at that venue, or for that day.

For example, let's say I go out to dinner and I sit at the bar. There are attractive women all around me. I order my drink, and my food, and I casually chat with the bartender and maybe the person next to me, and I observe the females for a bit. I select the one who I find most attractive. Then I watch her, read her face, body language, voice, personality, etc. as best I can, and I assess whether or not she is worth my efforts to pursue. If I conclude she is not, I consider the next choice, and repeat, but I am doing all of this in my own head. Nobody knows a thing.

If and when I find a female who I find attractive enough to pursue, and who I believe is worth the effort (not taken, right age range, right attitude, someone I can approach successfully in the styles of approach I know I am capable of, etc.) then I will get her attention and talk to her. Or, I might get her attention and get her to approach ME.

All the while, I am completely disconnected from the outcome, because I am enjoying her company, and it does not really matter what happens. I have nothing to lose if she's not what I thought she was, or taken, or uninterested, or whatever. I'm just enjoying her company. In other words, I don't have an agenda. Women can smell an agenda, and it's an instant turn off.

So let's say I like the bartendress and I like the woman sitting to my left. And the woman sitting to my left passes muster and I get her to open me. (Curiosity is great for that.) And we start talking, and she continues to pass muster. And she's showing signals of progressive interest, and I am matching her signals, and she's now comfortable showing them because she's getting the same back, and she knows I return her feelings and therefore there is minimal risk. So she escalates. Meanwhile the bartendress is observing me do this, and HER interest is being piqued, because she was interested, but has a job to do, and she can't stand there with a bar full of people and flirt. So now she sees me getting interest from this woman, who she has judged to be of equal or higher value to herself, and she is aware that the woman opened me, and all this is increasing my social value to her and increasing her interest and attention.

What I am doing now is making them both respond, and if they notice that, they'll start giving me spiralling positive social proof. They each keep giving me more because the other does. and that is how you get women to compete for you: once your perceived social proof is high enough, they will begin competing. It may be very subtle in the beginning, based on their personality, the circumstances, the place, and your level of social value in their eyes, but they will compete.

But more often than not, I only have one woman in my sights, and I don't pay attention to the rest. I don't try to get them to compete. I just focus on that one woman, and she knows I am serious, and she will see that I am only interested in her and it becomes an unspoken compliment. I am in effect saying, "You are the most beautiful, sexiest and most desirable woman in this whole place, and I am not interested in anyone else in the slightest, because you have captivated me so completely." And this is a compliment she will happily accept and believe, because A) she wants to believe that she is attractive, and B) she is observing your actions say it, and actions always speak louder than words.

And again, if she shoots me down, it's not a shoot down, it's just an opportunity to display my status to everyone who sees me get shot down, by responding the way a high status man would respond. It only makes me more valuable, if I respond the right way.

But once I have selected and approached, I never approach another woman in that venue or on that day, with only a couple exceptions. I'll give you an example.

There's a restaurant at which works a specific woman I find attractive. She's not the most physically attractive woman I ever saw, but she has a beautiful attitude and personality, and she has an absolutely amazing backside. She also was displaying significant indicators of interest to me, and I was very much enjoying talkingto her. So I thought about it for a while, and how she made me genuinely feel, and then I wrote on the back of my business card, "You have enchanted me beyond my ability to resist. Please do call me very soon." and gave it to her.

This made her day. She knows she's getting to middle age, and she knows there are other waitresses who are younger and get hit on more. So do I. I selected her because the overall package she presented was very attractive in multiple ways, not just sexually. She was worth my time because she had something worthwhile to offer me in a number of ways, and because I knew that she was interested, and very unlikely to shoot me down in a negative way, even if she shot me down.

Her response was to disappear for a little while, and then she came back out with a huge grin on her face and said to me, "I am currently in a relationship, but I will keep your card in the event that changes." So basically, she had to shoot me down to be faithful, but she didn't want to, and she let me know that by saying she would keep the card. It was also a gentle way to turn me down.

Now realistically, I know that a woman who is taken, and who is turning me down because of that, is not going to call me. So I don't sit around waiting for her to. I move on, because I know that because she is faithful, she is even more valuable than I initially assessed her to be, and therefore, is not going to be very likely to be single any time soon.

But the point is, I can never again approach a woman in that restaurant as long as she has it in her head that I am still enchanted, without making myself out to be an asshole, liar, jerk, scum, etc. in her eyes. And while I am still enchanted, I am also realistic, and I am not going to wait for her. So if there is another waitress who works there, whom I wish to try for, I now have to get her interested enough to approach me... and then I don't look like a two timing jerk.

I also cannot ever again use that specific method to approach, because women talk, and who knows who knows who? Doing the same approach to two different women and getting caught is just going to get you shot down. They don't feel special anymore. She liked my approach because it was unique, genuine and was not given to anyone else. Every approach should be like that, if you can do it.

If I am at dinner and I see two women I find interesting, I can only approach one in front of the other because of that same thing. If I go back the next day, and the other one is by herself, I can try again, but it has to be done very gently. Especially if it was her friend who shot me down. In fact it's almost not possible to get a woman to agree to your approach if her friend shot you down, because she has loyalties to her friend, and she also does not want to lower her value in the eyes of her friend by accepting what her friend rejected.

But now I'm rambling. Hopefully you see some of the points I am making, and this is of use to you in the future.