Got hit with some heavy depression today. Not much to say but I just have to ride it out and hope things are better tomorrow. Something I always struggle with on days like this is guilt. Lately I've been working on some music. And I've realized I really love music. But sometimes it's like the pleasure of making music, anything really, is sucked right out of me. And then I feel compelled to try to make it anyway because I need to get better. But my creativity is stifled, I get frustrated that I can't generate that same passion I felt, and ultimately it makes me feel worse when I can't achieve what I want. I think a lot of that is due to my drive to get better, which aids me greatly when I have the energy. But it's a tremendous burden filled with a lot of guilt when I lack the energy to get it done.
But at least doing something will help me out. I can't make assumptions without actually exploring something and getting up and doing it. Even if I don't do too well at it, it's still something.
But at least doing something will help me out. I can't make assumptions without actually exploring something and getting up and doing it. Even if I don't do too well at it, it's still something.
