(08-12-2010, 10:33 AM)Roy Wrote: Hi
More doubts,worry and negative feelings now.Pretty much depressed
for the last two days.I really don't feel like doing anything.
It's not like mild negative feelings, they are quite strong.
It's like I'm looking at things and it either they are not right
or like I don't belong.
I think I'm acting little differently in the last few days.Not sure about
that yet.
I've started the Alpha Male 2010 about 10 days ago, and after day one my balanced and overall positive mood (that I mostly got from a month of ASC) took a real nose dive. It's like there is this negative pressure that sorta resembles wanting to cry but a lack of emotion (behind it) to do it. I know what depressed feels like, and this more like the feeling of sadness is expressing itself without the reason behind it to be sad. It sucks because you can't do something about it, it just kicks back in place after doing something fun. I also don't feel like doing much, and became a lot less outgoing the past few days, making decisions seems harder (what I did notice is that I'm prioritizing myself over others more with ease), and I'm overall a lot less confident, in some cases almost scared of people, my solid eye contact is gone and have more of a tendency to hide from them. And I thought I already had dealt with this in the past...
I already sent a PM to Shannon yesterday in hope to have some things cleared up about this, since this isn't anything that has been mentioned on these forums about the Alpha Male program until now. And it's quite a distressing feeling, especially since it hasn't changed that much over the last 9-10 days.
Also I'm being reminded of certain past "traumatic" events, which I for the most part forgot in which I'm more seeing it from their perspective, and see how weak and illogical I reacted in some cases. I'm also dreaming a lot about taking revenge on past bullies or people who want to best at me.
I'm also using ASC + Become Irresistibly (since about 6 days) to combat these feelings, I feel a little bit more stable but I don't notice much other than that.
