When I walk into a bar, I order a coke (or a coke and lime, if I want people to think I am drinking alcohol) or more frequently, I order an iced tea.
I also walk in alone 99% of the time, and I sit down at the bar and drink my iced tea and usually eat dinner. Alone.
And while I am doing so, I talk with the people around me and flirt with the bartenders and have a wonderful time.
Because I truly, genuinely don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks of me.
In fact, I would say that the perception that someone doing this is a loser actually stems from their own insecurities being pointed out by the confidence of the person doing it. Think about it. If I can walk into a bar and drink iced tea while everyone else is drinking beer and liquor, and I can eat dinner by myself and STILL have a great time talking to everyone around me and flirting... and you have to drink alcohol and be in a group to feel confident enough to go do something similar... isn't my confidence going to irk you, since you don't have enough to do the same?
And what's an average person in those shoes going to do? Not try to become more confident... oh, no. They try to tear down the more confident guy!
But here's the thing. Since I don't care what they think, I don't care what they say. Or do. I'm there to have a good time, talk with people and enjoy a nice dinner, not impress people or kiss butt. And as long as I enjoy myself talking to people and having a nice dinner, I have achieved my goal and nobody else's opinion warrants consideration or value.
So you can stop worrying about whether people will think you're a loser, because the Golden Rule of socializing states:
No matter what you look like, someone will think you're a 1, and someone will think you're a 10 and a whole bunch of people will think you're a 5. And the same goes for any other aspect of what other people think of you - some will think highly of you, some will think lowly of you, and most will not care.
The key to success is ironically to not care what they think, because caring what they think puts the cart before the horse. The vast majority of people are actually sheep. They want to be told what to think. So they look to YOU to see what they should think of you, and if you say, "Well what should I think of myself, based on your opinion?" in return, they're going to think you're a loser (because who asks a sheep to lead the shepherd?) or they're going to manipulate you into being their thrall ("Only losers do XYZ, so if you want me to hang with you, you'll do what I say is cool.")
Instead, what you need to do is think for yourself, pick what you want to think of yourself, and then stick to that, regardless of what other people think, and when you do that you'll see a very different response. Most people will take your cue and think of you what you think of yourself! And the rest will usually either just not care, or be jealous and try to (that's right!) tear you down.
In the end, nobody else's opinion of you matters, because you are your own man, and you decide what and who you are. Let the rest eat cake.
P.S. - Hunting in packs doesn't wok very well. I have found that it is always most effective to hunt alone.
I also walk in alone 99% of the time, and I sit down at the bar and drink my iced tea and usually eat dinner. Alone.
And while I am doing so, I talk with the people around me and flirt with the bartenders and have a wonderful time.
Because I truly, genuinely don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks of me.
In fact, I would say that the perception that someone doing this is a loser actually stems from their own insecurities being pointed out by the confidence of the person doing it. Think about it. If I can walk into a bar and drink iced tea while everyone else is drinking beer and liquor, and I can eat dinner by myself and STILL have a great time talking to everyone around me and flirting... and you have to drink alcohol and be in a group to feel confident enough to go do something similar... isn't my confidence going to irk you, since you don't have enough to do the same?
And what's an average person in those shoes going to do? Not try to become more confident... oh, no. They try to tear down the more confident guy!
But here's the thing. Since I don't care what they think, I don't care what they say. Or do. I'm there to have a good time, talk with people and enjoy a nice dinner, not impress people or kiss butt. And as long as I enjoy myself talking to people and having a nice dinner, I have achieved my goal and nobody else's opinion warrants consideration or value.
So you can stop worrying about whether people will think you're a loser, because the Golden Rule of socializing states:
No matter what you look like, someone will think you're a 1, and someone will think you're a 10 and a whole bunch of people will think you're a 5. And the same goes for any other aspect of what other people think of you - some will think highly of you, some will think lowly of you, and most will not care.
The key to success is ironically to not care what they think, because caring what they think puts the cart before the horse. The vast majority of people are actually sheep. They want to be told what to think. So they look to YOU to see what they should think of you, and if you say, "Well what should I think of myself, based on your opinion?" in return, they're going to think you're a loser (because who asks a sheep to lead the shepherd?) or they're going to manipulate you into being their thrall ("Only losers do XYZ, so if you want me to hang with you, you'll do what I say is cool.")
Instead, what you need to do is think for yourself, pick what you want to think of yourself, and then stick to that, regardless of what other people think, and when you do that you'll see a very different response. Most people will take your cue and think of you what you think of yourself! And the rest will usually either just not care, or be jealous and try to (that's right!) tear you down.
In the end, nobody else's opinion of you matters, because you are your own man, and you decide what and who you are. Let the rest eat cake.
P.S. - Hunting in packs doesn't wok very well. I have found that it is always most effective to hunt alone.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
