AM7 Stage 0 Healing Bootcamp Bonanza

[Have at ye]

Funky healing dreams. FRM is at it too, I'm experiencing some slight ambient anxiety. Set things up so that the healing process is now more torelable to me; way less negativity for me to experience and work through.

I had a problem with self-hate. In my case it's an abusive relational trauma reaction; the problem with hate is that it's a very dense energy that's nearly impossible to transmute into anything positive; that's why I'm raging at all and sundry, because the energy has to go *somewhere*. I've got this figured out by now, what to do with it (hence why I'm doing intense positive energy bombing; I figure that in order to keep healing properly and remain functional I'm gonna need a small nuclear reactor's worth of positive energies, lulz). It's an extremely toxic energy and even when directed outward (even if it's justified) makes life most unpleasant. If you don't fix self-hate you're gonna end up suicidal, sooner or later, oy, and we wouldn't want that.

Let's have song, totally going all-out on Megadeth - this time we're listening to I'll Get Even:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lN1H4JnS5s

I'm bitter hurt and I'm twisted
I haven't slept in days
I'm lonely and I'm angry
I can't make it go away

I'm like a bomb that's ticking, I got voices in my head
I got a doll with needles and wishing you were dead
I'll get you back somehow, that's what I'm gonna do
I'll get you back somehow, your nightmare coming true
It's coming true

I'll get even with you

\m/