Shannon's Journal Discussion Thread, Vol. 8

[Inconceivablezen]

Same here! Have extremely good results with psilocybin that helped me identify some childhood trauma I didn't know I had. Life-changing experience. But never tried Aya! Did psilocybin by myself. I could see that perfectionism was/is really self-destructive because, at best, you feel great for 1 day after a good conquest and then need to hop onto the next accomplishment. I still remember the day I completed 3 Master degrees at the same time, was done with the final presentation, and felt empty inside. Barely even celebrated that moment. Next thing you know, the mind was focused on the next accomplishment. Very self-destructure because all these accomplishments don't mean anything if you don't feel good about them.

Don't get me wrong, in a way the childhood trauma did HELP me in ways too, making me really ambitious and helping me accomplish a lot, but not from a good place. Always from a place of lack that needs to be filled to be able to feel whole. Psilocybin also helped me identify some self-destructive behaviors in myself - some others that I haven't even described here.

Don't get me wrong, my life is amazing. But psilocybin helped me a lot. And, many of the RCTs on psilocybin, whether anxiety or PTSD or addiction or depression, are quite mind-boggling in a good way. Nevertheless, I do think that the average person should use psilocybin under medical supervision, with the protocol as it's described in these medical studies.

But, yeah, now I understand why I'm somewhat different than other people. Other people who are content with a "standard life" - a house, a spouse, a dog, some kids, etc! My younger brothers and sister are like that. After psilocybin, I'd say my self-destructive habits are down 70% or so. Not fully there yet but I'll overcome them soon, it feels like inevitable.

Running both OF, OGSF, and Maverick in the last few years has helped me a lot during this process, and synergistically even, I think.

Edit: hope this helps Shannon. If not, I'll delete! Ask any question you want as well and I'm happy to answer.

Guys, the rule against drug discussion cannot be casually ignored.  I gave some grace, but I don't want this to become a drug haven forum that promotes the use of drugs, even if the person discussing them believes them to have use in healing and health.  The problem is that I cannot open that door without ALL drugs coming to be discussed and then it becomes impossible to police. 

If you guys wish to share experiences like these with me to help my research, they are welcome, but please do so through the back end, and not on the forum.  This will be the last of allowing this rule to be breached on the forum.

I will shut up about this topic and understand your position fully, Shannon! Won't discuss this topic again here.