Day 53,
I am deeper into the affirmation / manifestation stuff right now. Feeling good, and as though I've made a shift
Committed myself to putting in more volume in both bench press and squat to ultimately get bigger numbers.
Getting visible gains at the gym, but I will need to go through a cut to make all of my work very visible.
Walking around at 210-215, but I know that I could easy get back down to 195-200 if I lost 10-15 pounds of (mostly) fat.
Was at the gym today, and I had an interesting feeling come up. I'd been not approaching women for the past year or so, despite having done it dozens of times in 2022/2023.
Saw this gal that I used to see (but never spoke with) regularly, and she was there after not being there for a while. My mind finally went: "you should talk to her" and I got excited. I was about to do it, but then when I would start closing the distance, my mind would go "but she's going to grab dumbbells" or "but she's about to switch places".
I got hesitant and just walked off; next time. I was at 55/45 in terms of desire versus inner psych-out.
There is no "perfect time". The "perfect time" is the time where you feel the desire to do something.
I believe that the emotional healing removed that need for validation that made more extend outward and try to get with women.
Now that it's been addressed, I think that those lingering shames about being publicly interested in women override my natural interest in them.
Before, the need for validation overpowered those. Now that they're gone, the shame is the overpowering shotcaller.
I'm looking forward for that to be gone, and out of consideration.
I am deeper into the affirmation / manifestation stuff right now. Feeling good, and as though I've made a shift
Committed myself to putting in more volume in both bench press and squat to ultimately get bigger numbers.
Getting visible gains at the gym, but I will need to go through a cut to make all of my work very visible.
Walking around at 210-215, but I know that I could easy get back down to 195-200 if I lost 10-15 pounds of (mostly) fat.
Was at the gym today, and I had an interesting feeling come up. I'd been not approaching women for the past year or so, despite having done it dozens of times in 2022/2023.
Saw this gal that I used to see (but never spoke with) regularly, and she was there after not being there for a while. My mind finally went: "you should talk to her" and I got excited. I was about to do it, but then when I would start closing the distance, my mind would go "but she's going to grab dumbbells" or "but she's about to switch places".
I got hesitant and just walked off; next time. I was at 55/45 in terms of desire versus inner psych-out.
There is no "perfect time". The "perfect time" is the time where you feel the desire to do something.
I believe that the emotional healing removed that need for validation that made more extend outward and try to get with women.
Now that it's been addressed, I think that those lingering shames about being publicly interested in women override my natural interest in them.
Before, the need for validation overpowered those. Now that they're gone, the shame is the overpowering shotcaller.
I'm looking forward for that to be gone, and out of consideration.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
