OGSF 2.0 - Shameless

[Ampersnd]

Day 48,

It's very interesting how much baggage I have stripped away from me surrounding the attractive women around me.
If I see a pretty woman around me, and I don't intend on speaking with her, I just imagine myself bending her over, and her being very much into it.
It's not meant to be perverse; it's just fun and sexy.

There are no "but"s. It's not like I'm having the fantasy and thinking:
* "But she's probably full of herself"
* "But she's probably not interested"
* "But she'll probably just talk to me for the attention"

I've had these "but"s for over a decade, and they've been pesky and intrusive.
I figure that my sex drive is about as high as it's been 3-4 years ago, but it's a purer form, uninterrupted by the little resentments, frustrations, and narratives about what the amount of sex I'm having. I used to be insecure when I wasn't having any, and it drove me to try to get more. So the comparison feels different between now and then.

Now, I can just enjoy the thought of it in my head without feeling any kind of bad about it.