(08-21-2024, 01:41 PM)Shannon Wrote:(08-21-2024, 10:39 AM)callie Wrote: It feels like ages ago since I used OGSFv1, and I don’t remember much, except that it was similar to what I’ve experienced with E6 on and off since I increased the volume in ultrasonic. To give a short example, it feels like the part of me that’s been repressed and exiled starts to hate everything about myself. This often manifests in my dreams, where someone goes into a hateful rage and tries to kill me. Then I start hating them back and try to defend myself, usually ending up killing that part of me in the dream. I then wake up feeling absolutely devastated. It's like the part of me that needs to be integrated and healed ends up becoming even more isolated instead. This creates tension in my body and insane pressure in my head, and triggers all kinds of strange physical symptoms. I feels like my psyche is at war, and I believe the physical issues are are the psychosomatic effects of that
When I’ve felt healing, that isolated part in my dreams approaches me, and we’re able to reason with each other, eventually feeling sorry for one another. It’s strange. These moments usually occur long after I’ve quit using the sub, as a sort of blooming effect. This also suggests to me that the pacing was too aggressive while using the sub.
I am sensitive. I feel things deeply. So that is a very likely conclusion, imo.
As for E6, I actually switched to masked format recently. And things have been manageable again, which is good.
What are you doing to get help from professional sources?
I don't have professional help, haven’t had much success with it before. I am going to look for a therapist soon enough, though
As for the dream example I gave you, those kinds of dreams almost only happen when I use ultrasonic for too long
What really bothers me is that ever since something in my subconscious shut down after using OGSFv1, no subliminal has worked the way they used to. Given the current state of my subconscious, I think the instructions might not be a good fit for me with E6. By the fifth day of listening, it starts to feel like too much. Going into the rest days, I’m either in a state of resistance or feel over-pressurized, depending on which format I use. Perhaps subliminals aren’t for me anymore, as you pointed out, or maybe I just need to tweak my listening patterns to better suit me. Reducing the days ON to 4 instead of 5 comes to mind. Do you think that’s worth a try?
