EPHRA v6 (non-binding journal, do not follow ;) )

[Have at ye]

Listening to my loops. Had wonky dreams as usual, wonky sensations as well. One of the dreams was a very important one, related to why I was feeling depressed. I do have a bit of a dysthymic streak, which is probably one of the root causes of my ED and progressive loss of libido (this coupled with [re]traumatization galore). The funny thing is that I remember being free of these feelings (and the heavy wonky sensation becoming light and healthy) only in moments when I was happily in love with a woman (which were few and nothing ever came out of any of them, because obviously why would it, oyyy).

I got a little bit frustrated yesterday during singing practice becase my high notes wouldn't take off properly (it was due to the fact I wasn't warmed up enough, but still) and I went all "f-word this and f-word that". Otherwise it's been going good, but I'm taking some off days this and next week and we'll see whether the powers that be decide I'm worthy of auditioning for them (I got no resoponse, not even a polite "sod off, mate", from that chorus job I applied to, oyy).