(05-10-2024, 02:38 PM)Diablojack00 Wrote:(05-10-2024, 10:08 AM)Shannon Wrote: I'm not saying you have to stay on 2 loops. I'm just saying that it kicking your ass isn't necessarily a bad thing, or a reason to stop.
I would suggest you not change anything from whatever amount got you this date with your crush until you have a stable relationship, or your relationship has run it's course or has matured to a significant degree. Changing things at a time like this is a good way to screw things up. You're potentially transitioning from one state to another regarding your relationship with her, which is already a change. Don't risk screwing it up by adding unnecessary changes into the mix. That's my thinking, at least.
I understand and agree. I did the 2 hours then it was 3 day break. When I started back it was one hour.
I'm on a 3 day break now and will start back with 2 hours and try and take note on the difference it has on my crush.
The movie date is 2 weeks away so I've always felt that no contact and them not seeing me till the date is best.
But maybe it depends what type of person it is.
Being she's my server if I went the next 2 week to eat it may mess something up.
I see no reason I can't go in and eat as usual but I'm not sure
You have experience with servers so what do you suggest I do?
First, I would use 1 loop, and not change any variables until weeks or months past the determination of what happens with the relationship.
Second, I would never allow a date to wait that long before it happens. I have never made a date for more than a couple days in advance. The longer it waits, the longer she has time to think, the longer her fears and doubts have time to grow, etc. I always try to go on a date (or get together with her instead of a date) the same day I ask, or the next day. Making them wait is a bad idea for those reasons, and because it makes it more likely that she will shoot you down.
Third, you want to just disappear for two weeks before the date? That's not a good idea at all in my opinion. That will just make her think you've lost interest, and then her imagination will run wild and it'll blow up in your face.
Fourth, it sounds like in spite of my input to the contrary, that you set up a date. I don't know if you used the word date, but by the sounds of it, even if you didn't, she'll be thinking it's a date by the way you did it - if I am understanding how you did this correctly.
I think you've made some mistakes here. The best way forward at this point, in my opinion, is, change nothing. Go eat there as normal, talk to her as normal, use the same number of loops, and do the best you can with how you have things set up. Now you have to go 2 weeks without somehow screwing up, before you even get to the date. That's not ideal by any means. At this point, you have some good things going, but your setup isn't perfect, and you have to keep things going until the date. Don't make things harder for yourself than you need to! It's already damned difficult for a guy these days.
So again... my advice is, change nothing. 1 loop per day on, keep going to eat there as usual, keep talking to her as usual, etc. - make sure she knows you're still interested during the TWO WEEKS you made her wait for a date... and see how the date goes.
Or maybe see if she'd like to get together before then.
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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!