E6 journal

[User_000]

It seems i no longer associate physical pain with death threats as cancer or heart attacks, instead i know is an emotional response, something very interesting is the fact that my body urges me to stop eating too much, if i eat too much i feel like throwing up and speaking of that i discovered the main cause about why i tend to pass out because of a big trauma that trigger a fear response and leads me to passing out, is because i got disgusted whenever that trauma is triggered and the real response is trying to throw up but because i always tried to repress it the end result is me passing out so now instead of passing out i just throw up and that's it, no more anxiety attacks and that apparently made me able to express my emotions instead of trying to shield me, of course it means i can show my anger which now is my most common emotion but now doesn't feel like i'm burning in hatred, i'm angry but doesn't seem to be unhealthy in fact my body gets more active because of it and can even dissapear as if never happened to return and repeat the process over and over.

I also need to mention that my stomach no longer hurts, instead i feel like throwing up sometimes but very slightly, i don't know if i ever wrote about this before but i always felt something in my body (i don't know how to explain very well), let's say is a focus point of my anxiety, whenever i had an anxiety symptom i also felt something like pressure in the same area so if the point moved from the chest to the arm the pain also moved or if moved to one of my eyes i felt my eye tired and that also includes the stomach but i haven't feel it for a while, instead i feel anger but at least is a problem less.

Who would have thought i actually made it, looks like 5.11G was the right choice, can't wait to 6G.