09-15-2023, 08:43 PM
It's been mud days on OGSFv2 for the last 3 days. Felt like walking through a knee deep swamp of emotions. That all cleared last night and I'm feeling great now.
The emotions were deep and primal, as well as wordless once again. I did come to the conclusion that I'm willing to process these emotions now and it doesn't matter what they are I'm willing to go through them.
This next part is an observation based on attachment theory. Attachment theory was an idea proposed based on some studies in the 60's IIRC which studied how babies responded to caregivers leaving and coming back into the room. The observed responses of the kids generally fell into 4 categories and there is a wealth of knowledge about it online now.
My attachment style is avoidant with almost 100% certainty.
The wordless emotions that I felt this time actually formed into some words right before they were cleared. "I deserve to be loved". When that happened some of the info about attachment theory flashed in my head and I was able to grasp what was being worked on to a degree. attachment wounds can and do form before you are able to say words so this might be evidence that Shannon is indeed accessing the subconscious parts of us that are "pre words'' and only linger of the realm of feelings before thoughts.
To me this is a big deal as I feel quite a bit different today. I am seeing a change to core issues and words just don't express how good it feels to have these things addressed, despite how hard the moments before the breakthrough are.
This could be huge.
The emotions were deep and primal, as well as wordless once again. I did come to the conclusion that I'm willing to process these emotions now and it doesn't matter what they are I'm willing to go through them.
This next part is an observation based on attachment theory. Attachment theory was an idea proposed based on some studies in the 60's IIRC which studied how babies responded to caregivers leaving and coming back into the room. The observed responses of the kids generally fell into 4 categories and there is a wealth of knowledge about it online now.
My attachment style is avoidant with almost 100% certainty.
The wordless emotions that I felt this time actually formed into some words right before they were cleared. "I deserve to be loved". When that happened some of the info about attachment theory flashed in my head and I was able to grasp what was being worked on to a degree. attachment wounds can and do form before you are able to say words so this might be evidence that Shannon is indeed accessing the subconscious parts of us that are "pre words'' and only linger of the realm of feelings before thoughts.
To me this is a big deal as I feel quite a bit different today. I am seeing a change to core issues and words just don't express how good it feels to have these things addressed, despite how hard the moments before the breakthrough are.
This could be huge.
