08-04-2023, 06:59 PM
August 4th
Today was the last listen of the 3rd month (half loop listen). Going for a 4-week break.
The last 2 months have been challenging. Events took place which were difficult for me to overcome. Other circumstances which were too much to handle. At first when such events and situations were taking place I remember thinking that it was bad they are happening now I am being trained with maverick because they are keeping me busy and focused on negativity and hardships rather than my mind being available to be trained. Long story short, today another event took place which was less severe but similar to an event which happened before I was on maverick. I took this event hard and I had this thought again. "Another hardship while on maverick...", and then it hit me. Such an event, and even a more difficult one did happen before maverick and i didn't take it that seriously. A domino of thoughts came up while reviewing and rethinking all the other challenges I experienced during maverick. I understood that if I was not on maverick , I would take things easier, differently and they wouldn't have this bold impact on me emotionally.
I concluded that maverick seems to be keeping me on my toes on areas of my life which I was dangerously relaxed on and let them running on pure luck. I won't go into a long post with details but I was compromising myself heavily. Compromising my safety, security and financial situation.
I'm here again, beaten up and on a dead end, for a third time in two months. I hope what I am experiencing is in fact what is needed to make a change because deep inside I wish maverick would swing a magic wand and make me the man who would handle all these somehow or else I will be having a very hard rest of 2023 as I am feeling heavily beaten up already. The latter seems more probable...
I am also wondering if anyone else on maverick is having a similar experience.
Today was the last listen of the 3rd month (half loop listen). Going for a 4-week break.
The last 2 months have been challenging. Events took place which were difficult for me to overcome. Other circumstances which were too much to handle. At first when such events and situations were taking place I remember thinking that it was bad they are happening now I am being trained with maverick because they are keeping me busy and focused on negativity and hardships rather than my mind being available to be trained. Long story short, today another event took place which was less severe but similar to an event which happened before I was on maverick. I took this event hard and I had this thought again. "Another hardship while on maverick...", and then it hit me. Such an event, and even a more difficult one did happen before maverick and i didn't take it that seriously. A domino of thoughts came up while reviewing and rethinking all the other challenges I experienced during maverick. I understood that if I was not on maverick , I would take things easier, differently and they wouldn't have this bold impact on me emotionally.
I concluded that maverick seems to be keeping me on my toes on areas of my life which I was dangerously relaxed on and let them running on pure luck. I won't go into a long post with details but I was compromising myself heavily. Compromising my safety, security and financial situation.
I'm here again, beaten up and on a dead end, for a third time in two months. I hope what I am experiencing is in fact what is needed to make a change because deep inside I wish maverick would swing a magic wand and make me the man who would handle all these somehow or else I will be having a very hard rest of 2023 as I am feeling heavily beaten up already. The latter seems more probable...
I am also wondering if anyone else on maverick is having a similar experience.
