07-23-2023, 01:35 PM
Day 143,
I realized just how bored I am.
My standard practicing and work tasks are a bit annoying and rote.
Even dating sounds like a dredge and unfulfilling. It's not helping that I have but one prospect, and I'm not willing to stir up more of them.
My prospect agreed to date #2, and asked what my plan is, and I don't care enough to come up with a plan and to follow through with it. She doesn't seem sexually interested, and that's something I want to have earlier on, so what's the point?
I think that I want to drop certain self-improvement measures, as opposed to 'goal pursuit' measures.
There's a goal I want to pursue, and I've been removing the obstacles to getting started, but I might want to cut away some of the time obstacles.
Something identity-based, such as Jiu Jitsu and my career coaching, might be on the chopping block.
Feeling very much like the Rick Ross song, except I don't have the massive accolades like this artist to take for granted.
It's like my current accomplishments have faded into the background.
Also, I'm asking the question, to almost anything: "Why am I doing this?"
I wonder if I've unconsciously dropped the need for approval, and that a lot of things that I need involved getting approval.
Or, there's simply a lull in my life as a result of resistance?
I realized just how bored I am.
My standard practicing and work tasks are a bit annoying and rote.
Even dating sounds like a dredge and unfulfilling. It's not helping that I have but one prospect, and I'm not willing to stir up more of them.
My prospect agreed to date #2, and asked what my plan is, and I don't care enough to come up with a plan and to follow through with it. She doesn't seem sexually interested, and that's something I want to have earlier on, so what's the point?
I think that I want to drop certain self-improvement measures, as opposed to 'goal pursuit' measures.
There's a goal I want to pursue, and I've been removing the obstacles to getting started, but I might want to cut away some of the time obstacles.
Something identity-based, such as Jiu Jitsu and my career coaching, might be on the chopping block.
Feeling very much like the Rick Ross song, except I don't have the massive accolades like this artist to take for granted.
It's like my current accomplishments have faded into the background.
Also, I'm asking the question, to almost anything: "Why am I doing this?"
I wonder if I've unconsciously dropped the need for approval, and that a lot of things that I need involved getting approval.
Or, there's simply a lull in my life as a result of resistance?
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
