Day 120,
When I visit my parents, I tend to fall into the 'son' frame and not deal strongly with other people, and let my parents do most of the talking. Basically, my high school self.
This time around, I had already booked myself into an unconventional event before driving down. They accepted that with no questions.
We just came back from a restaurant. I did what I could to be more talkative in general. At the same time, our waitress (also the bartender) was very cute.
As we were getting up to go, I stalled and had them wait in the car. I walked up to her at the bar and did very brief chitchat and said: "I don't mean to put you on the spot, but I wanted to ask you for your number." She agreed, then counter-offered her Instagram; I didn't want to push due to the format potentially putting her in an uncomfortable situation.
Some thoughts I had in the leadup which got my head on the right way:
How strongly - in a passive sense - are you willing to withstand criticism over what you want? Can you "weather the storm", so to speak? If you can handle some turbulence for a small step, you can handle taking a small step in the direction of your goals.
We'll see if she follows me back.
Note: For those who wonder whether they'll run out of 'boxes' to escape if they get themselves into trouble; first off, that's practically impossible, just find a new box; second, people would forget the embarrassing incident with enough time - i.e., things would reset; third, you would at least know that you gave it everything you had. Why not just die at that point? (I say this tongue in cheek).
When I visit my parents, I tend to fall into the 'son' frame and not deal strongly with other people, and let my parents do most of the talking. Basically, my high school self.
This time around, I had already booked myself into an unconventional event before driving down. They accepted that with no questions.
We just came back from a restaurant. I did what I could to be more talkative in general. At the same time, our waitress (also the bartender) was very cute.
As we were getting up to go, I stalled and had them wait in the car. I walked up to her at the bar and did very brief chitchat and said: "I don't mean to put you on the spot, but I wanted to ask you for your number." She agreed, then counter-offered her Instagram; I didn't want to push due to the format potentially putting her in an uncomfortable situation.
Some thoughts I had in the leadup which got my head on the right way:
- If you ever feel stifled inside a room, or feel social pressure, recall that you are probably inside a geographical box (i.e., a room, a restaurant, a bar).
- If things ever get too intense, you can always leave the box.
- If anyone tries to make you feel repercussions for good faith actions - such as asking a waitress for her number in a polite way, with many conversational outs - then *they* are in the wrong.
- Personally, accept the likely consequences of your actions; accept that each individual in the room might witness your movements; what's the likely worst that each individual will do? It's not going to be that bad.
- - They'll be upset?
- - Their fantasies about the woman you're pursuing is crushed?
- - They try to butt in and puff themselves up? Anything more than that and they get closer and closer to breaking the law.
How strongly - in a passive sense - are you willing to withstand criticism over what you want? Can you "weather the storm", so to speak? If you can handle some turbulence for a small step, you can handle taking a small step in the direction of your goals.
We'll see if she follows me back.
Note: For those who wonder whether they'll run out of 'boxes' to escape if they get themselves into trouble; first off, that's practically impossible, just find a new box; second, people would forget the embarrassing incident with enough time - i.e., things would reset; third, you would at least know that you gave it everything you had. Why not just die at that point? (I say this tongue in cheek).
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
