Day 100,
I'm questioning some of the deeper concepts and sweeping narratives about success and dating that I've assumed to be true:
I keep mentioning this growing pressure to succeed, but I also have a growing malaise. Like it's all going to amount to shit.
It feels like I'm scaling the sinking Titanic. I'm making upwards progress, and I'm not in icy cold water, but it feels like there will be a top, and it will not matter.
Whether AI will make the IT work difficult is irrelevant; AI doesn't undo the laws of economics, so I have enough skills, and I'm versatile enough to make it work.
Memento Mori.
I'm questioning some of the deeper concepts and sweeping narratives about success and dating that I've assumed to be true:
- Success being an equalizer in dating: That if I get adequately wealthy, that the world is in the palm of my hand
- The male advantage: That the male 'peak' is at 35-38 years old. For looks, earning potential, and physical vitality. What is there for you in your 40s? Your 50s? And beyond.
- Age gap relationships: Will I realistically be able to date 25-29 year olds as I get older? Will I even want that?
- Avoiding disastrous relationship fallouts: If I settle down and have kids, how do I not get royally fucked out of my money if it goes sour?
- The outlier male: Will I be able to stand out for my age, and against my other male competitors, for the hottest/most desirable women, of any age?
- Body game: Even Rom Wills' philosophy on getting your body right seems to be falling me short. I'm lean at 205-210 pounds and 6'1". I don't get clear/obvious signs of interest. I do catch women making glances in certain venues and situations.
- Tech/Coding as the path to 6-figures: I'm almost one year into my career and learning a ton, even out-thinking certain contractors at times who have done it for years. I want to make a career move and to bump up my salary, but I don't know what the right move is. I'm consulting with an AI tutor who can later coach me on interviews, but I'm in a work-mode treadmill, building a project with this person.
I keep mentioning this growing pressure to succeed, but I also have a growing malaise. Like it's all going to amount to shit.
It feels like I'm scaling the sinking Titanic. I'm making upwards progress, and I'm not in icy cold water, but it feels like there will be a top, and it will not matter.
Whether AI will make the IT work difficult is irrelevant; AI doesn't undo the laws of economics, so I have enough skills, and I'm versatile enough to make it work.
Memento Mori.
UMS v2 Journal (current) || Overcoming Fear 5.75G Journal
