Local Man 360 NO-SCOPE AURA-SNIPES These H03s (with RESPECT & LOGIC!!!) - X4A-1000

[Shannon]

Aha... that sheds some interesting light on things.

X4A is designed to focus on the three people within your sight that you most want to have sex with.  If you have two 6's who know about each other, but trouble getting the 8+ types, this says something about relating to those specific females.  Tell me, when you were younger, did you manage to fumble your way into red pill rage because you couldn't get what you wanted and blamed them for it?  Is it possible that some part of you resents those types of women for that experience still?  It sounds like you're stonewalling X4A, which would indicate a stone cold refusal to execute, which usually only ever happens when some part of you feels mortally threatened, so was there some experience that could have been associated with getting killed if you went after them?

Yes, absolutely yes. In elementary and high school, I had a string of crushes that never panned out (which, of course, I'm sure that she was being pined after by a bunch of boys, so the economics of it was out of whack.)

I just seemed invisible to those women, unless I pushed myself to be in front of them, but I knew that I was an orbiter.
Part of my 'game' was to try to progress things forward, but to not give away that I liked her, in that way; almost waiting for her to make steps, because otherwise she's "find out" that I "like her", and if she does, she will "obviously" reject me. Even if it would benefit me, I would close my feelings away, as I wanted some sexual variety, and assumed that casual sex meant being completely closed off on an emotional level. (I don't believe that anymore)

So a couple of years into uni, when I wasn't experiencing this great hookup culture I was hearing about, I get exposed to red pill (at the time, men's rights activist content was very popular) and MGTOW. My beliefs that these women are just floating on a cloud, living life on 'easy mode', and becoming corrupting by excessive choice.
That they made bad choices (not me), so why should they get to whine about the consequences of their bad choices?
The rest is history; becoming punitively pro-life, or anti subsidies for poor moms, can very easily spring from that.
I did a lot of internal work to rid myself of the overt resentment, but I'm sure that some fragments remain, as my subliminal history hasn't dealt with it directly. I've used other modalities in an attempt to directly tackle it.

So why you deny yourself sex with 8-9-10's boils down to you resent them for bad behavior?  Is that what I'm hearing?