OFV4 Special Case Use; Digging Deep

[Chris P. Bacon]

Rather deep and insightful, and rather an extraordinary bit of self realization I think.  You say OFv4 is fast tracking the process, but it is only moving at the pace you will do best with.

I see. I forgot that it adjusts to the pace the user can handle. Thank you for the reminder.

Now that you mention it, it is a rather deep realization and it's been something that has taken years to get to this point. Maybe the realization seemed quick, casual and somewhat fleeting but I wonder how long that reality was "waiting in the wings".

This realization brings forth another set of questions.
 
      1. Am I actually perceiving this correctly?
The unseen and somewhat intangible are always vague and without definite substance and putting it into words, an act of definitiveness and parsing out (especially in the English language) in an attempt to concretely define something to others seems like a task that is always doomed to be inadequate. Looking back at my post last night it seems a little jumbled as I was trying to describe what I was feeling but I'm not sure that I am even perceiving this correctly so I could be on to something as far as my internal state is concerned or I am not. If not then not only is my explanation wrong but so is the whole premise; a double deviation. That could derail me for years if I confidently believe my perception to be correct and take action from that place. If you travel towards a destination and are off by one degree, then the error becomes worse the farther you go. While I felt confident in what I felt and my rudimentary explanation I must take time to consider the truth of it all.

The eloquence and depth with which you describe it, despite your claim of jumble, suggests that you are perceiving it correctly in my opinion.

      2. If I am correct then how many people have built their life around fear?

This will take observation and time to arrive at any conclusion, but the implications are staggering. How many people are in a generally unconscious state of fear that isn't even really them as a person? 

I would wager with confidence that the answer is something in excess of 99.99%.

      3. Who really is any person then?

Fear is rooted in every person to some degree. If I was willing and able to build a lot of my personality around fear then who else is like that and who are they really? Who is any one person? What are they really like? If fear can be so all-encompassing then what does it look like to remove it? What do we look like if we remove it?

I think you are making a mistake asking this question.  Fear is not who you are, it is what you respond with and focus your awareness through and into.  You did not build your personality around fear, you made decisions as to what to do based on and in fear that resulted in what you chose to be (temporarily) and how you chose to express that being-ness.  This presents you an opportunity to really examine yourself deeply and get to know yourself in a way that few people ever have the opportunity to do.

      4. Will OF4 be able to remove it completely or will it creep back in after I am done with it?

This could be my biggest concern. If I live in a state of progressing fearlessness while on OF4 but it doesn't fully stick then what? I can do nothing about it so I'll just watch but it is a concern and ironically possibly a fear of mine at present.

The real question is, will you use OF v4 for long enough, or not?  If it can have this level of profound impact on you, then it is my contention that the rest is just a matter of time.  Will you give it enough time to finish the job or not?

These are just what comes to mind but the irony is that these all could possibly be fear-based questions. Having such a large part of your existence be unmasked as fear really brings a lot of things into question. Most likely I'll have my answers about myself with time so patience will be key but for now, this realization brought more questions than answers.

In other news, I had light sleep last night, as it was my first night on again. This pattern seems pretty established at this point. The first day back on is a slightly turbulent day on OF and today is no exception. 

I am deriving less and less enjoyment from the habits and ways I seek pleasure. This has been going on before OF and it could be a brain issue or it could be that I truly have lost the sense of enjoyment from them due to the increase of fear hijacking everything and turning it into avoidance and coping. It feels like the latter to me but who knows. The part of me that avoids the present and retreats further into the mind also seems like the part that tries to resist subs but that's more of a theory than anything concrete to me.

OF is still working but some deep fears are getting worked on. It's hard but stopping won't fix anything so on we go.

It could also have been TID.

The part of you that responds with fears is most certainly the part of you that fights the change that the parts of you cooperating with subliminals seek to accomplish.

For #1. Thank you for the feedback. I personally felt I could have written it better but I guess that something can always be written better.

For #2 that % makes sense.

For #3 thank you for the reminder. Earlier I wrote fear is not me and I'm not fear. Going to have to keep hammering away at that reality for a while. Also, your explanation of what was really going on was very helpful.

For #4 I had planned to run OF4 for its full course till January IIRC. I bought it the day it came out so I believe it's January. My concern was subconscious boredom. However, I just had the thought that boredom might just be in response to stonewalling the program and that if I don't stonewall I may never get bored of it. I have yet to plateau or stonewall so I think that OF will keep executing till the end of those 7 months. If that's the case then I'll probably just keep using it till I feel like I find an endpoint. On a somewhat unrelated note;I have no basis for this assumption, save an intuition, but I think there is 1 more version of OF and I think it'll land before 6G. This seems rather presumptuous, even to me but that's the feeling I keep getting.

In other news; last night was great. It seems that I got over the issue that has been bothering me for the last 2 cycles and the release was big. I have to watch myself as the euphoria could make me do something really stupid, but i feel quite a bit freer (more free?) than as of late.

INSTRUCTIONS!!!!! Today I realized that fear blocked the true meaning of that word in relation to subs till now. Subliminals are instructions. They aren't telling you what to do but instructing you about a possible reality. To me this is important. I don't like being told what to do, but I don't mind being taught or instructed and I enjoy learning as well. Subliminals, when seen in that light, are something different than my subconscious made them out to be due to fear. No boogey man here!

Not only that, but to me the concept of instruction conveys worth. No one puts intense effort or any effort for that matter into instructing someone if they are of no value or aren't worth teaching. Attempt to learn anything from anyone who isn't paid to teach you and you'll find you have to prove you're worthwhile to be taught in the first place. I know it may sound weird but the fact that subliminals are instructions in reality conveys the intrinsic worth of the recipeint. I'm defenitely worth being instructed, I just couldn't see the reality of the situation because of fear until today. 

Last night I also figured out something health wise that is giving me A LOT of sustained energy which lingered througout the day. I know it's been tough for me this last week and a half but days like this really make the process worth it.

yay