Transcendental Sith Lord's UH / MLS Journal

[DarthXedonias]

Just a few things I need to note down.

Will basically now, starting today, cutting off all YouTube watching unless it has to do with learning math or programming (no day in the life of a google, amazon, etc programmer anymore either). Came up with this because giving up this is a little bit more difficult because my mind would try to get me to watch one video that was unrelated then all of a sudden I start going down these rabbit holes of multiple video's or looking up other things because a certain video reminded me of something else, etc. Its funny because I had never really thought of the YouTube algorithm up to that point but then I realized I basically was in that algorithm. The whole point of the algorithm is to recommend stuff on the home page or side bars based on your interests and to get you to keep watching. I did learn one other thing recently which kind of cleared something up for me about Dopamine. Dopamine isn't the reward itself in the brain, it is the motivating chemical. Its not "this feels good" its "I want this" its also used in "anticipation" of a reward. That put my going down the rabbit hole syndrome in perspective. The reason I would go down these rabbit holes as it were is because I would get that anticipation of something good based on a flashy thumbnail, etc and go to look at "one more video".

With that put into perspective I have decided to severally limit it all. I think if I can just get over this last hurdle then the results from the sub will be even more prevalent. I'm wondering as well if maybe I can subtly force myself to like learning some things that I didn't find as appealing. Reason being that since I still need to use YouTube for my math and programming maybe I can use that to increase my enjoyment. If the only thing after a while that gives me that dopamine hit is math and programming (due to cutting out all other media) then that means the only place I can get such a legitimate "hit" is those things that actually will move me forward in life. So basically the way dopamine was supposed to work anyway. Want things that are actually going to move you forward in life and the anticipation of the reward from those things instead of getting quick fixes from huge amounts of "entertainment" which will not help you in the long term.

Another thing I have noticed for a while now is when I learn something I do have the habit of relearning it over and over in my head. Like I will literally imagine lines of code or math problems in my head to go over during random times of the day so I keep it fresh in my mind. It does seem to keep things semi fresh in my mind so that when I get back to certain courses I didn't forget things. I am trying to get through this one math class as quickly as possible because I do really want to graduate and it seems so far the only classes in this whole degree that are slowing me down a bit are the math ones. Everything else seems to be quite simple to understand for the most part. Even after I'm done with all this I will still need to take like a month or two to study for the coding interviews at big tech companies.

Lastly, I think there is still something going on with this sexual energy I feel at times. I think its a combination of me changing my life around but also maybe effects from the future DMSI? All I know is this morning (very early in the morning) I just felt this very sexual energy inside of me. I think it lifted my confidence as well as I felt dominant and desirable. Also, I do think on that front I am increasing some kind of endurance when it comes to that sexually energy. Have to say that looking forward to how I will do on the new DMSI when it comes out given all the changes I have made.