UH is awesome

[User_000]

I just remembered something from my past, actually is something I was still doing as of today, I was obsessed about being the best, always getting the highest grade at school, not causing problems, trying to be perfect but for what? for my parents pay attention to me? to feel I can live up to expectations? for not being left alone? and what happened after doing my best? nothing happened, still being abandoned, so if my efforts were useless why should I even care about trying? if my efforts are useless then it is not worth it, and yet I'm arrogant enough to laugh at the ones who can't do better than me but feel useless when they do, in my mind life has to be "I'm better than everybody else", in the end traumas make me act as a kid, time to heal this wound.