Transcendental Sith Lord's UH / MLS Journal

[Sky]

Decided to make this journal part UH and part MLS instead of making a second MLS Journal.

I might start updating more frequently because quite frankly I just feel really amazing now. Come tomorrow I will be on my 3rd week of detox from video games and last week I had decided no matter what there will be no more porn watching (even if its pretty infrequent). I think what is happening is that my brain structure is resetting since I've gotten rid of the addicting habits that have the same effects on the brain as drugs (video games, porn, too much youtube watching) and now I'm able to just have a good mood in my normal every day life instead of relying on some addicting habit to get pleasured.

The second thing I feel has happened is that with those previous addictions keeping the old "reality" in place in a way the new reality (MLS) is now really showing itself. I'm finding with my math class as I go through the videos I am able to basically instantly understand them and actually keep going over the information in my mind. I actually enjoy learning the information and will enjoy learning the last few classes I have (I have about 13 classes left after this one). There is some weird but interesting thing that happens as well. I think it has to do with using more the "mind" instead of the brain as Shannon has referred to before. When I'm learning its like my mind is just on auto pilot and my mind is just able to instantly figure out things. If not I make a reasonable guess and even as the teacher in the videos is leading up to the answer I am able to get where I got wrong right before they reveal the answer. I notice I have a lot of those "aha" moments as well where I just get it.

I still every once in a while feel this type of resistance but I just do what I have done and calm myself and tell myself the "resistence" doesn't exist and it is just an illusion. I make myself feel nothing run against "myself" as I execute. This whole thing has made me realize just how insidious things like fear, guilt and shame are against the goals you are trying to achieve. Reason being that its like you want something and you use your available energy and will power to get towards a goal but the fear, for example, diverts your energy and will power because now your wondering about the "what ifs" which are distracting you from your main goal. Its like your splitting your energy and will power between your goal and the "what if" scenarios. Whether you are aware of those "what if" scenarios is another thing entirely.

Its like your working against yourself and your goals within your own head. You are becoming your own enemy at that point. The best analogy that comes to mind is like trying to get to a destination while trying to slogging through mud. The more fear, guilt and shame you have the more deeper, wider, and thick the mud is. Getting to the point you might just give up even getting to your destination. The sad fact is your the one that is creating the mud in the first place. Given my experience the only suggestion I can give to anyone who is struggling with trying to execute the sub is to get rid of any time wasting or addictive habits you might have. I had the inkling that the part resisting was using my addictions as a way to control the environment in my mind which would be way more favorable to the part of the mind that was resisting.

For those that don't know using video games as an example you get addicted because of the dopamine hit you get from playing them, etc. It basically screws up your punishment/ reward system in your brain and actually changes the structure of your brain in a similar way to a drug addicts brain. This is similar with a lot of addictions and time wasting activities today (porn, surfing the web, watching videos on youtube a lot, etc). By keeping that structure in place every time I did any of these activities is made it really hard if not impossible to develop new habits according to the instructions in the sub. Make sense seeing as the point is do to the changes in the brain/mind you find anything outside of those activities that give that particular dopamine hit to be "uninteresting" or "boring". You might find regular life just boring as well unless your diving into some imaginary online world. I now see as i've gotten rid of those things and am using the sub for the changes that I want in my life that life seem very, very good now and my future looks very bright. More bright than I have ever thought it has been.

On my future and why I feel that way, I have been looking more and more into my options. I have narrowed things down to either working remote or staying in a few major tech centers in the states. I admit as I have looked more into this I am starting to think of staying more and using my vacations and holidays to visit my girls in South America. Might still get married to the Asian one and either move her to south America or bring her with me to the states for a while. I have pretty much decided on where I will get a second Passport after I get my masters degree. Before my selection was either Canada, Australia, New Zealand, or EU. I think now I will settle on moving to the EU as it is composed of a lot of different places. I'm probably going to do an citizenship by investment scheme most likely since I might have the wealth to do so. If that's the case I might do so in Malta (more expensive investment scheme but can get citizenship within a year), or Portugal (takes 5 years but only need to be in country 7 days out of every year). I would prefer Montenegro because even though its not in the EU yet it will have its requirements done by 2025 and it has the cheapest citizenship by investment. After all that I'm not sure where I will be moving exactly. I have heard Berlin in Germany, Madrid in Spain, and Amsterdam in the Netherlands are pretty decent places. I might just end up buying some places in all those major places.

As to stay here a bit long reason being that once I'm done with this degree soon I do want to work with one of the major tech companies. I've been looking more into my pay scheme and things I would be offered are base Salary, stock options, and sign on bonus. So, I didn't care much about the stock before but now I see it as a good long term strategy for me. I found out that if I were to work for the same company for about 8 years I could retire early. After that period I could essentially do 1 of 2 things: Sell the stock I got for over 1,000,000 USD or (in the case of a company that pays a dividend) keep the stock the company gave me and make about 23,000 USD per month off of it. So my options are looking very, very appealing right now. Also with getting a signing bonus every year (about 25k to 50k USD) I could easily buy property around the world or invest it in something else.  Do to all of this I am quite excited about the future and also I am excited about learning the field so I don't actually mind working in this field for quite a while.

Either way that's about everything that is going on. I just felt motivated to post because I feel really good about myself and my future right now and don't have many people I can tell about how great things are going. So this is kind of cathartic for me now. Anyway, I will see you guys later and wish everyone luck. Comments, suggestions, and questions are very much welcomed.

This is awesome! I unfortunately had to stop MLS after finishing the two month mark because of lack of sleep and I didn't test it with tranquilizer B according to Shannon's suggestion. Since then, I have bought tranquilizer B and have been using LTU6 and my life has been going very well. I really want to learn data analysis and data science, and I hope LTU6 will help me work on the limiting beliefs I have preventing me from maximizing my potential towards studying and learning data science. I really enjoyed reading your post, so thought I'd share what I'm doing.