04-23-2022, 07:31 PM
Even though I'm on MLS now thought I would post an update because honestly its because of UH I'm starting to see these results now. I will try to make it brief but things are actually going great now. I started eating healthier and I drink tea daily now. Don't eat as much sweets as I used to. I think after a month I should be able to hit the body fat percentage I want then I will start bulking up like crazy. Classes are going on ok. I am noticing i'm looking more forward to doing the work that I need to get done or at least finding out ways I can approach the class that will make learning easier.
I did have a major, major breakthrough on something though. So for the longest time I just didn't like math . I could still do well on it depending on the teacher (my grades in Highschool fluctuated between A- and C+) however even when i started doing well I would start slacking off and not being interested. I finally found out why for all this. I sat down while listening and realized vividly why that is. Shannon is very right that there are certain levels of your consciousness that retained that level of consciousness you had at a younger period. I remembered being something like 5 years old I believe and having to take this math test like almost every day in my class. I forgot how many question it was but I believe it was like 6 rows of questions and it was timed. I remember just trying to get through my version of the test to get to level 2 of the test for quite a while and I just couldn't. Eventually though I remember passing it though I think I still have either the whole last row not answered or just a few in the last row not answered.
Either way it "should" have been enough to have a passing score. So next time the test came around I expected to be on level 2. Surprise the teacher kept me at level 1 still anyway. In other words even though I passed by her own rules, etc she still kept me at level 1. I was just shocked when I got the paper the next time we took the test and I still got a level 1 paper. I didn't say anything just took it again but I think I was deflated from all this and just didn't care as much anymore. From her view I got the inkling that she must have still had doubts about my abilities and just kept me there or "Oh no he still missed a few, there must be something wrong here". Never came to me to offer any explanation or anything. So its like I realized from that situation at a young age "Psh, why bother anymore with math. No matter what I do I won't succeed anyway. People are just going to change the rules on me or not allow me to succeed". It was quite a sobering moment when i realized this was the central issue regarding math for me. After I realized that its like now I don't have that really hold me back anymore. I'm actually motivated to pass the current math class I'm working on.
There was one other major breakthrough that happened recently which just got everything snowballing. I remembered that whole issue before the "wall" part of the subs was created where we realized our minds were just saying things like "disappearing" things or pretending that things didn't exist. I actually used this same technique which was a resistance tactic but turned it against the resistance itself. Mainly I just said in my mind whenever I felt any resistance to any of the instructions that the resistance doesn't exist and it is an illusion. I actually felt a lot of release after doing this. Now I just calm down and do that every single time I feel any once of resistance. Most of the time I don't have to do it anymore as its automatic at this point. I think that actually ended up opening the flood gates in a way.
Anyway, thought I would give this quick update. Its feels like I'm getting very tangible, real results now after years of working with these subs.
I did have a major, major breakthrough on something though. So for the longest time I just didn't like math . I could still do well on it depending on the teacher (my grades in Highschool fluctuated between A- and C+) however even when i started doing well I would start slacking off and not being interested. I finally found out why for all this. I sat down while listening and realized vividly why that is. Shannon is very right that there are certain levels of your consciousness that retained that level of consciousness you had at a younger period. I remembered being something like 5 years old I believe and having to take this math test like almost every day in my class. I forgot how many question it was but I believe it was like 6 rows of questions and it was timed. I remember just trying to get through my version of the test to get to level 2 of the test for quite a while and I just couldn't. Eventually though I remember passing it though I think I still have either the whole last row not answered or just a few in the last row not answered.
Either way it "should" have been enough to have a passing score. So next time the test came around I expected to be on level 2. Surprise the teacher kept me at level 1 still anyway. In other words even though I passed by her own rules, etc she still kept me at level 1. I was just shocked when I got the paper the next time we took the test and I still got a level 1 paper. I didn't say anything just took it again but I think I was deflated from all this and just didn't care as much anymore. From her view I got the inkling that she must have still had doubts about my abilities and just kept me there or "Oh no he still missed a few, there must be something wrong here". Never came to me to offer any explanation or anything. So its like I realized from that situation at a young age "Psh, why bother anymore with math. No matter what I do I won't succeed anyway. People are just going to change the rules on me or not allow me to succeed". It was quite a sobering moment when i realized this was the central issue regarding math for me. After I realized that its like now I don't have that really hold me back anymore. I'm actually motivated to pass the current math class I'm working on.
There was one other major breakthrough that happened recently which just got everything snowballing. I remembered that whole issue before the "wall" part of the subs was created where we realized our minds were just saying things like "disappearing" things or pretending that things didn't exist. I actually used this same technique which was a resistance tactic but turned it against the resistance itself. Mainly I just said in my mind whenever I felt any resistance to any of the instructions that the resistance doesn't exist and it is an illusion. I actually felt a lot of release after doing this. Now I just calm down and do that every single time I feel any once of resistance. Most of the time I don't have to do it anymore as its automatic at this point. I think that actually ended up opening the flood gates in a way.
Anyway, thought I would give this quick update. Its feels like I'm getting very tangible, real results now after years of working with these subs.
"I have no use of disciples. Let everyone be their own true follower" - Nietzsche
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