04-13-2022, 03:48 PM
So this is weird, since starting UH i've found cold showers much more difficult and am losing interest in doing them, when it's been like 6+ months since i've been doing them daily. This could possibly be that it kicks you into fight and flight and potentially might be going against healing trauma.
Thinking about it more last night, it's almost as if I was just there in the right time to see that girl and have it bring up stuff to work through.
Last night in bed was the most intense night i've had in ages, it reminded me of 4 years ago when I got the intense physical issues and had all kinds of stuff happening while in bed, though luckily it wasn't to that level.
These symptoms are familiar though and I used to have it alot and also attributed it to candida type symptoms. I was really constipated and just had to keep getting up to goto the toilet, this is combined with strong emotional intensity, being in some form of fight and flight as every sound outside seemed much more obvious, and some soreness in the stomach and that area.
First I had alot of emotional intensity, anger, rage, frustration, rejection, abandonment, and also some stuff coming up from when my physical symptoms were really bad, like fear from that and this reminding me of it.. also thinking about that girl and similar things and getting so frustrated. Eventually I stayed with it and it discharged.
After going to the toilet a few times then I went back to bed, was kind of shaking and feeling a bit cold. Then I let myself stay with the feelings, it went from pressure and some soreness around my butt and then I rolled over to lay on my back and breathe, and then noticed soreness in the lower left part of my stomach. I stayed with it and can't say for sure if all of this was emotional upheaval but it really felt like it was coming up and being worked through and the whole process was kicked off by UH.
I stayed with it for a bit, and then I felt this sudden energy/pressure go through my head and my ears blocked up and then unblocked in a split second, and then the soreness in my stomach disappeared.
I was like "wow" then this fucking sabotage come in trying to get rid of that shift which got my frustrated again. But I just tried to still stay with what was coming up.
Thinking about it more last night, it's almost as if I was just there in the right time to see that girl and have it bring up stuff to work through.
Last night in bed was the most intense night i've had in ages, it reminded me of 4 years ago when I got the intense physical issues and had all kinds of stuff happening while in bed, though luckily it wasn't to that level.
These symptoms are familiar though and I used to have it alot and also attributed it to candida type symptoms. I was really constipated and just had to keep getting up to goto the toilet, this is combined with strong emotional intensity, being in some form of fight and flight as every sound outside seemed much more obvious, and some soreness in the stomach and that area.
First I had alot of emotional intensity, anger, rage, frustration, rejection, abandonment, and also some stuff coming up from when my physical symptoms were really bad, like fear from that and this reminding me of it.. also thinking about that girl and similar things and getting so frustrated. Eventually I stayed with it and it discharged.
After going to the toilet a few times then I went back to bed, was kind of shaking and feeling a bit cold. Then I let myself stay with the feelings, it went from pressure and some soreness around my butt and then I rolled over to lay on my back and breathe, and then noticed soreness in the lower left part of my stomach. I stayed with it and can't say for sure if all of this was emotional upheaval but it really felt like it was coming up and being worked through and the whole process was kicked off by UH.
I stayed with it for a bit, and then I felt this sudden energy/pressure go through my head and my ears blocked up and then unblocked in a split second, and then the soreness in my stomach disappeared.
I was like "wow" then this fucking sabotage come in trying to get rid of that shift which got my frustrated again. But I just tried to still stay with what was coming up.
