After saying how happy I was with improved sleep, last night I struggled. Constantly had to get up to pee which is likely some detoxing.
I had set my alarm for 6:30am to goto the weekly thing I usually goto in town, then I changed it to 7, then 7:30 then turned it off and stayed in bed. I felt really physically drained, but it may also be partly emotionally.. I generally don't have issues if I have to get up earlier, but on UH i've been sleeping a bit later and couldn't bring myself to get up early.
I went down the street about an hour after it started, drove past but just didn't feel like going and socializing so I went to some opshops. Before that I went to the supermarket and post office, I felt like something had passed and I was back to being more comfortable again and the reactions I got from a few people was positive, talked to a cute girl serving me in the chemist and it was fairly playful.
Then it went down and I then just felt antisocial, didn't want to talk to anyone, in one shop I didn't even want to talk to a woman I usually talk to when I go there.
After maybe an hour or so I was getting really drained, now that i'm home I just have no energy. The way i'm feeling reminds me of around 4 years ago when I first started getting the physical issues i've been dealing with, which back then I believed was partly from trauma and partly from physical contributors.
The general feeling is kind of being wrapped up like a baby and coddled, going out but just not wanting to really interact with anyone. I don't like this feeling, especially with how social I generally am now. But I guess it's a sign of how deep UH is going.
Interestingly despite not really enjoying how i'm feeling i'm also craving the UH input and look forward to putting it on each night.
But it seems it's going to be harder to be productive on this.
I had set my alarm for 6:30am to goto the weekly thing I usually goto in town, then I changed it to 7, then 7:30 then turned it off and stayed in bed. I felt really physically drained, but it may also be partly emotionally.. I generally don't have issues if I have to get up earlier, but on UH i've been sleeping a bit later and couldn't bring myself to get up early.
I went down the street about an hour after it started, drove past but just didn't feel like going and socializing so I went to some opshops. Before that I went to the supermarket and post office, I felt like something had passed and I was back to being more comfortable again and the reactions I got from a few people was positive, talked to a cute girl serving me in the chemist and it was fairly playful.
Then it went down and I then just felt antisocial, didn't want to talk to anyone, in one shop I didn't even want to talk to a woman I usually talk to when I go there.
After maybe an hour or so I was getting really drained, now that i'm home I just have no energy. The way i'm feeling reminds me of around 4 years ago when I first started getting the physical issues i've been dealing with, which back then I believed was partly from trauma and partly from physical contributors.
The general feeling is kind of being wrapped up like a baby and coddled, going out but just not wanting to really interact with anyone. I don't like this feeling, especially with how social I generally am now. But I guess it's a sign of how deep UH is going.
Interestingly despite not really enjoying how i'm feeling i'm also craving the UH input and look forward to putting it on each night.
But it seems it's going to be harder to be productive on this.
