04-03-2022, 07:46 PM
I'm happy with how my sleep has been better since starting UH, though I still am feeling drained from it.
One thing that's challenging is something that I can't fully attribute to UH but it may partly be contributing. Since I had this big thought of "What's the point of doing all this stuff i'm doing (e.g my morning routines and such) if I just can't find any women or sex?" i've been struggling with the desire to do it, this morning I forgot one part but did it later.
I stopped Qigong as it moves energy in the body and I also muscle tested it would conflict with UH, I feel like it did a little with LTU and OF but I kept doing it. I took a week off working out to recover last week and nearly took another week, i've never taken 2 weeks off but nearly did but thought if I do that I may not start again. I chose a different workout and was slightly under the impression it was UH moving me to something else to rehabilitate my body a bit, but when I started doing it I was totally bored and went back to the workout i've been doing, and also realized it may partly have been some sabotage trying to stop me doing what seems to be working well.
I replaced my morning Qigong with Feldenkrais and will do that every weekday morning instead.
My elbow is sore after my workout, so it's like UH is bringing up some soreness there.
Emotionally i'm feeling like a bit of a sensitive pussy, perceived rejection seems to be effecting me more and my old reflex of suddenly going to "what did I do wrong to cause them to behave like that". Yesterday I realized it was simply this old pattern coming up.
This morning was interesting, I was laying in bed and I laugh at this now but I was thinking "hmm the thought of a naked woman doesn't seem as appealing".. like some neediness had been removed, obviously it still appeals but it was like less desperation around it. Then as soon as I noticed and thought "this is good" the sabotage come up and lessened it.
I also seem to be thinking about certain things about girls in my past, and perceiving some of them differently when looking at POF.
Other than that, the other thing that's a bit difficult at the moment is I have little urge to go out and do stuff. Tomorrow I have a regular thing on every week and I really don't feel like going. I decided i'd probably just make myself go otherwise i'll just be at home most of the week. Like I kind of just want to be by myself, I wonder if it's some past trauma coming up that made me 'feel' like I didn't want to go anywhere and socialize, where I realized as I worked on it more I did want to go out and I started to legitimately enjoy socializing.
Basically alot of this can be summed up at confusion about what's going on and what I want to do right now, I know UH is doing so much at once which might explain it.
One thing that's challenging is something that I can't fully attribute to UH but it may partly be contributing. Since I had this big thought of "What's the point of doing all this stuff i'm doing (e.g my morning routines and such) if I just can't find any women or sex?" i've been struggling with the desire to do it, this morning I forgot one part but did it later.
I stopped Qigong as it moves energy in the body and I also muscle tested it would conflict with UH, I feel like it did a little with LTU and OF but I kept doing it. I took a week off working out to recover last week and nearly took another week, i've never taken 2 weeks off but nearly did but thought if I do that I may not start again. I chose a different workout and was slightly under the impression it was UH moving me to something else to rehabilitate my body a bit, but when I started doing it I was totally bored and went back to the workout i've been doing, and also realized it may partly have been some sabotage trying to stop me doing what seems to be working well.
I replaced my morning Qigong with Feldenkrais and will do that every weekday morning instead.
My elbow is sore after my workout, so it's like UH is bringing up some soreness there.
Emotionally i'm feeling like a bit of a sensitive pussy, perceived rejection seems to be effecting me more and my old reflex of suddenly going to "what did I do wrong to cause them to behave like that". Yesterday I realized it was simply this old pattern coming up.
This morning was interesting, I was laying in bed and I laugh at this now but I was thinking "hmm the thought of a naked woman doesn't seem as appealing".. like some neediness had been removed, obviously it still appeals but it was like less desperation around it. Then as soon as I noticed and thought "this is good" the sabotage come up and lessened it.
I also seem to be thinking about certain things about girls in my past, and perceiving some of them differently when looking at POF.
Other than that, the other thing that's a bit difficult at the moment is I have little urge to go out and do stuff. Tomorrow I have a regular thing on every week and I really don't feel like going. I decided i'd probably just make myself go otherwise i'll just be at home most of the week. Like I kind of just want to be by myself, I wonder if it's some past trauma coming up that made me 'feel' like I didn't want to go anywhere and socialize, where I realized as I worked on it more I did want to go out and I started to legitimately enjoy socializing.
Basically alot of this can be summed up at confusion about what's going on and what I want to do right now, I know UH is doing so much at once which might explain it.
