Thanks guys.
Yep, so it's not misinterpreted i'm not coming from the angle of 'masculinity is bad' (Though I know you realize this, but this is to others who may think that bs). I feel much better when i'm connected with my Masculinity, strength and get much different reactions from people, enjoy my training more etc.. but then it's like there's these blaring issues around rejection, girls and such that the 'being more Alpha' doesn't seem to be healing.
I did a speech on Masculinity last week at Toastmasters and it quite upset a few people and I was told it was too controversial.. it seriously wasn't but it shows the state of the world and how pc bullshit has gone way too far.
One thing i'm scared of is that UH may lessen my interest in martial arts and working out, I don't want that to happen since they are important to me.. on E2 I lost alot of interest in working out. Hopefully that was partly just 'resistance' and it doesn't happen on UH.
I had a thought after I read that. When I was in my early 20s and getting lots of girls and sex, was I happier? I guess happier than when i'm not getting it.. but I still had deep depression coming up that would derail me quite a bit. And it didn't necessarily solve that getting more and more sex.
Thanks, yeah after I realized the pattern a few days ago I started going back into it again and had good rationalizations like "But maybe I can just get some sex before starting UH". I was meant to take a week off to let other things i've been doing settle, but i've felt quite anxious and down the last few days so I felt like I needed to start.
Yep we don't want to deal with healing, well I don't anymore.. it's like "fuck can't I just ignore that now and move forward more?".
One big challenge i'm having with this is the state of the world. I've had thoughts of whether it's actually sustainable to spend another 6-12 months (Muscle testing suggested 10 months of UH for me) on healing if possibly issues of survival come up, and that becoming a stronger, more Alpha man is definately needed too.. especially with the sad state of men in the world. I've seen this increase in the last 2 years massively.
Where i've stood up and said no to certain things where almost every other guy has just bent over to it all. So have other guys I hang out with now, but it's a minority, and i'm nowhere near where I want to be.. but I still stand for something. I'd like to expand on that, but it's controversial so I won't here.
Quote:Amazing post. I resonate so much with it too. Especially the part about masculinity/bandaid. Also the being a slave to women and other stuff, and fear around women in some regards which logically makes zero sense.
Yep, so it's not misinterpreted i'm not coming from the angle of 'masculinity is bad' (Though I know you realize this, but this is to others who may think that bs). I feel much better when i'm connected with my Masculinity, strength and get much different reactions from people, enjoy my training more etc.. but then it's like there's these blaring issues around rejection, girls and such that the 'being more Alpha' doesn't seem to be healing.
I did a speech on Masculinity last week at Toastmasters and it quite upset a few people and I was told it was too controversial.. it seriously wasn't but it shows the state of the world and how pc bullshit has gone way too far.
One thing i'm scared of is that UH may lessen my interest in martial arts and working out, I don't want that to happen since they are important to me.. on E2 I lost alot of interest in working out. Hopefully that was partly just 'resistance' and it doesn't happen on UH.
Quote:I like your post Benjamin! I think at the top of my list is to get a girlfriend since I've never had one.
I had a thought after I read that. When I was in my early 20s and getting lots of girls and sex, was I happier? I guess happier than when i'm not getting it.. but I still had deep depression coming up that would derail me quite a bit. And it didn't necessarily solve that getting more and more sex.
Quote:Good job, Benjamin. It’s fucking hard sometimes to pick the right option instead of the shiny one. Respect the hell out of your decision. Also nice to see a journal by you.
Thanks, yeah after I realized the pattern a few days ago I started going back into it again and had good rationalizations like "But maybe I can just get some sex before starting UH". I was meant to take a week off to let other things i've been doing settle, but i've felt quite anxious and down the last few days so I felt like I needed to start.
Quote:I’m feeling kinda sentimental, remembering back when I first got here and we were all focused only on “being alpha” and getting girls haha. It’s awesome to see that a lot of us that are still on the forum have realized we were using that stuff as a crutch for our emotional issues and stepped up and decided to address those issues with long term, sustainable solutions.
Yep we don't want to deal with healing, well I don't anymore.. it's like "fuck can't I just ignore that now and move forward more?".
One big challenge i'm having with this is the state of the world. I've had thoughts of whether it's actually sustainable to spend another 6-12 months (Muscle testing suggested 10 months of UH for me) on healing if possibly issues of survival come up, and that becoming a stronger, more Alpha man is definately needed too.. especially with the sad state of men in the world. I've seen this increase in the last 2 years massively.
Where i've stood up and said no to certain things where almost every other guy has just bent over to it all. So have other guys I hang out with now, but it's a minority, and i'm nowhere near where I want to be.. but I still stand for something. I'd like to expand on that, but it's controversial so I won't here.
