UH is awesome

[User_000]

In the time i've been thinking I track down an issue that is bothering me since forever and that is I give more importance to what others expect from me but that at the same time is me expecting something from others (in short i expect others to expect something from me in a specific way), so most of the time I spend my time thinking how others will expect from me the way I want them so that brings other issue, I'm always expecting something from me but that something is an authentic desire or a faulty desire for example to accomplish something that will make me think about how others will expect from me and for what reason? to not be alone, to not be scolded or something, to think I'm won't be called useless? to avoid believing I'm useless? even if it's something i don't give a damn? in the end i'm just doing it for avoiding suffering or trying to make me feel better by doing what others want but not by my own desire, okey i will do what i "need" to do just for the sake of doing it but if i don't care i'll do it halfway or the way i want and if i fail then whatever no need to think i'm useless or make me suffer because of expectations people had on me when i was a kid that later became my own just for avoid suffering and rejection.