02-12-2022, 05:28 PM
Hi Ampersnd,
I'm not an expert or something but I can offer you a different perspective. From what I gather you had some recent experiences which contradicted earlier experiences.
The value of words: What's worked for me is ruthlessly dividing the actions and the words of a person. Only what they do counts, especially for women. The words are just a bunch of hot air.
The why of actions: Regarding the statements that were recently directed at you, I think it can help you to consider the person that said this and how the statement will change things for her. It seems to me that they are guilting you into a frame that is beneficial to them - e.g. you entering a monogamous relationship.
As you are describing it, the young women did the same thing - pushing a frame that is beneficial to them. Then it was keeping their options open and not committing. Now with other women, it is securing a stable relationship.
I hope this helps you in making sense of the contradicting statements. Feel free to offer a counter opinion.
Keep going strong
MM
I'm not an expert or something but I can offer you a different perspective. From what I gather you had some recent experiences which contradicted earlier experiences.
The value of words: What's worked for me is ruthlessly dividing the actions and the words of a person. Only what they do counts, especially for women. The words are just a bunch of hot air.
The why of actions: Regarding the statements that were recently directed at you, I think it can help you to consider the person that said this and how the statement will change things for her. It seems to me that they are guilting you into a frame that is beneficial to them - e.g. you entering a monogamous relationship.
As you are describing it, the young women did the same thing - pushing a frame that is beneficial to them. Then it was keeping their options open and not committing. Now with other women, it is securing a stable relationship.
I hope this helps you in making sense of the contradicting statements. Feel free to offer a counter opinion.
Keep going strong
MM
