OGSF 5.9G | Ultimate Man

[GreekGod22]

Reasons I choose OGSF:

• trauma healing, especially abandonment/ rejection, @Shannon recommended it, it was this of E5.
  
• to further evolve on the path of being the man that I want 
  
• being at easy with myself, and happy.
  
• get rid of the jealousy/ insecurity that I sometimes feel in my relationship
  
• I want to be able to speak for myself and express my ideas without hesitation or fear, get rid of my long-lasting shyness.
  

I truly felt that I need a sub that focuses on emotional healing to get me unstuck in life, for a long time, I was running away, but not anymore.
I did run E3 for a couple of weeks in 2021, and had a positive experience with it. Too bad I didn't stick with it long-enough.
I did not have that much success with OF3, listened at too low of a volume. Hopefully, OGSF is the game-changer.

[AmpersndThe2nd]

Great choice. When you unshackle yourself from the internal obstacles, then you gain a ton of freedom.
I did plenty of Overcoming Fear and had a massive bout of personal growth.
Can't imagine how much further you'll go when also removing the shame and guilt; the three are likely so intertwined.

[GreekGod22]

Day 1

4 loops Ultrasonic @ 10/16 volume on my iPhone

Had a dream where I was feeling jealousy regarding my girlfriend, I've had similar dreams lately.
I woke up in a changed state. I feel more relaxed, at ease. Not needing to impress, and not feeling anxious about anything.

[GreekGod22]

Day 3

4 loops Ultrasonic @ 10/16 volume on my iPhone

I have this long-lasting struggle to find happiness. That's why I engage in destructive habits like negative self-talk, or porn/ masturbation. 
Logically, I should be happy with myself and my life. I have a well-paying job, a loving girlfriend. And she does make me happy and I enjoy time with her for sure.
It's like I am totally conscious of my traumas, my patterns of escapism, but can't actually overcome them, they keep running me. That is frustrating, spinning in circles.

[GreekGod22]

Day 4

4 loops Ultrasonic @ 10/16 volume on my iPhone

It seems like on OGSF, some deep-hidden insecurities/ fears/ emotional wounds will come to surface/ get triggered out of nowhere, but they also fade away quickly.
Interesting dreams last night. One where both me and my girlfriend had feelings of jealousy. Another one where 2 large animals (bison/ cattle hybrid) were trying to enter the house I was in and I was feeling in danger and had to prevent them from entering.
On another note, I keep having some minor issues with the streaming, I will set up 4 loops and it will stop at 2 or 3 and then I have to manually play another loop.

[GreekGod22]

Day 5 OFF

Today wasn't that great. Had a jealousy trigger, and generally felt low.
Been dealing with some chronic health issues, which drains me of my physical energy. I don't want to get too much into it because I don't want to identify with it.

[GreekGod22]

Day 6 OFF

Technically, these should have been OFF days, but I did play 1 loop US yesterday and 1 loop Hybrid today, felt an urge to do so to help me deal with how I am feeling.
A lot of repressed anger coming to surface.  I let the world walk over me and disrespect me for far too long.

[GreekGod22]

Day 8 OFF

Looking forward to the next listening cycle.
I did play 1 loop of Hybrid on Day 7.
Had a dream where I successfully managed to avoid a danger.

[GreekGod22]

Day 10

4 loops Ultrasonic @ variable volume

Past anger and regrets are dominant these days. Had some arguments with my GF regarding her past.

[GreekGod22]

Day 12

4 loops Ultrasonic @ 8/16 volume on my iPhone

Feeling better today, more emotionally stable. Anger is reduced.  Healing comes in waves.
I realized that whenever something external happens that challenges my masculinity, I get triggered and insecure. But I don't need to be. Confidence comes from within, first and foremost.

[GreekGod22]

Day 18

4 loops Ultrasonic @ 10/16 volume on my iPhone

Not feeling that much different, can't pinpoint any effects from the sub. Will be increasing loops/ volume.

[GreekGod22]

Day 19

4 loops Ultrasonic @ 10/16 volume on my iPhone

Tough times emotionally. Once again I am put to the test, this time I am better prepared and more confident. Won't disclose more.

[GreekGod22]

Day 22 OFF

As previously said, I am going through tough times emotionally, and my pride and masculinity is tested. It's one of those situations that would usually make me spiral into deep depression 
However, I seem to be handling it really well, I feel calm, and in control. I no longer feel defeated, or devastated as I was in the past when facing such situation. I no longer blame and criticize myself heavily, but instead I take everything as it is and try to improve from here on.

[GreekGod22]

First month on OGSF over. Been feeling more calm and more emotionally stable. I also get regular dreams revealing my fears, but it feels like I'm an observant and not directly living those fears in my dreams.
I've also had an interest in my childhood this weekend, the way my parents raised, the traumas that they have inflicted on me.