Journal | Laser Focus & Concentration (5.75g - Type A/B/C/D Hybrid)

[Reznik]

So first off, my apologies for the sudden disappearance. Bottom line is, I had some unexpected financial difficulties that prevented me from continuing the monthly subscription after the first month. Secondly my mom passed away unexpectedly a few weeks ago. It is what it is. 

Unfortunately I wasn't able to continue with my experience that I was having with the 3rd cycle because the subscription ended a few days after my last post. I'm now back to square one dealing with my ADHD and it's been a nightmare. Everything is undone. 

When we left off, I was discussing the possibility of some real self sabotage going on (I think fear of success) that I think was making me feel like the sub was no longer working. I was starting to wonder if that was such a huge blockage, it wouldn't be possible for this sub (or maybe any sub) to work until I overcome that. 

Post Cycle 3 Report
In the weeks since I haven't listened to the sub, I've lost any and all interest in all the work and projects I had started working on. Like I wrote above, everything is gone, poof, undone. I'm back to where it's as if I never listened to the sub. I was starting to wonder if I was only hyper-fixated on these projects and now that the novelty has worn off I'm "bored" with them. But on the other hand this is some real life changing stuff for me. These projects are things I want to happen in my life, to change it and make it better. It's super frustrating to know I want these things, but to also feel so bored or disinterested in them that I don't do them (see the meme quotes in the posts above).

A Question
Right now I'm at a crossroads. Shannon I'm asking for your opinion on this. Continue with the Laser Focus or start OF (or some other sub) to smash any resistance to Laser Focus being successful, and then come back to Laser Focus? I appreciate your input on this.