Took 4 nights off, and then last night after doing 10 and 8 loops for a while...
Back to 1 loop. Yes seems strange but this is what my urge told me. Weirdly I may have never done 1 loop, as I don't even have a playlist for 1 loop on my mp3 player. The nearest was a 3 loop playlist, but that felt like too much.
Feels like barely anything but i'm going with it as so far i've trusted the urges I get to change listening.
The last few days I felt that maybe something was shifting around being able to talk to girls again, and yesterday I was that close to it.. but then last night in bed this annoying sabotage I have come and ruined that.
I had an idea a while ago that I decided to do today, funnily enough I almost didn't because of fear. I decided it might be good to set the intent for OF to work on these fears around girls while actually out around them. I ended up going to the beach for an hour while listening to ocean surf on headphones.
Can't say I noticed heaps, but a few times I did notice some pressure/butterfly type feeling in my chest when I was looking at some girls.. I then was imagining talking to them hoping it would bring stuff up to work on.
Don't have much to report from it. But I can say that the last 2 times I went to the beach I got massively frustrated at not being able to talk to them and went on a porn binge after that, today it didn't trigger that.. so maybe listening to OF did help settle it a bit.
I don't know what it is, but really at this point i'm struggilng to keep doing OF, it's getting really boring to me, feels like not much is happening anymore. About 3 weeks until the 6 month mark. Sure it's done some things that i've written here, but can't say i'm fully satisfied with the run.
Also struggling not to do DMSI because of the frustration coming up around girls. But holding off that.
My plan has always been UMS v2 next, but Testosterone Optimizer almost takes it's place at the top of my list as something I really want to do as it would have multiple benefits.
Back to 1 loop. Yes seems strange but this is what my urge told me. Weirdly I may have never done 1 loop, as I don't even have a playlist for 1 loop on my mp3 player. The nearest was a 3 loop playlist, but that felt like too much.
Feels like barely anything but i'm going with it as so far i've trusted the urges I get to change listening.
The last few days I felt that maybe something was shifting around being able to talk to girls again, and yesterday I was that close to it.. but then last night in bed this annoying sabotage I have come and ruined that.
I had an idea a while ago that I decided to do today, funnily enough I almost didn't because of fear. I decided it might be good to set the intent for OF to work on these fears around girls while actually out around them. I ended up going to the beach for an hour while listening to ocean surf on headphones.
Can't say I noticed heaps, but a few times I did notice some pressure/butterfly type feeling in my chest when I was looking at some girls.. I then was imagining talking to them hoping it would bring stuff up to work on.
Don't have much to report from it. But I can say that the last 2 times I went to the beach I got massively frustrated at not being able to talk to them and went on a porn binge after that, today it didn't trigger that.. so maybe listening to OF did help settle it a bit.
I don't know what it is, but really at this point i'm struggilng to keep doing OF, it's getting really boring to me, feels like not much is happening anymore. About 3 weeks until the 6 month mark. Sure it's done some things that i've written here, but can't say i'm fully satisfied with the run.
Also struggling not to do DMSI because of the frustration coming up around girls. But holding off that.
My plan has always been UMS v2 next, but Testosterone Optimizer almost takes it's place at the top of my list as something I really want to do as it would have multiple benefits.
