10-24-2021, 10:32 PM
One of the most frightening things I ever had to face in my entire life was cancer. Not because I thought it would kill me, oh no. I had been suicidal from the emotional pain I had been in for years by the time I ended up with it. I figured, "This is as good a way to die as any, I guess." What scared me was not death, but the knowledge that now I would have to face my greatest fear: hypodermic needles.
And face it I did, entirely against my will. That first few days they stuck so many needles in me that i managed to find a way to black out even laying down, which usually prevents that. The nausea I felt right before that happened was unbelievable. But you know what happened? They decided to install an infusa-port in my chest surgically to minimize the number of times I need to have a needle stuck in me. The irony was that the surgery required me to have no less than seven IVs inserted into my arms at once. Having the infusa-port allowed me to "only" have to deal with one needle every few days. The surgery to remove it was pretty awful, they didn't even put me under because the doctor was mad that my mother wouldn't let him get away with rescheduling after a full day of waiting. He had sent the anesthesiologist home to have that excuse. So they shot me up with 7 shots of local anesthetic in my left pectoralis to do the surgery.
By the time I got done with cancer treatment, I learned two things. First, I was no longer afraid of needles... and second, facing major fear like that results in nausea.
So as you find yourself feeling these things, just remember... that is your fear losing the fight for survival.
And face it I did, entirely against my will. That first few days they stuck so many needles in me that i managed to find a way to black out even laying down, which usually prevents that. The nausea I felt right before that happened was unbelievable. But you know what happened? They decided to install an infusa-port in my chest surgically to minimize the number of times I need to have a needle stuck in me. The irony was that the surgery required me to have no less than seven IVs inserted into my arms at once. Having the infusa-port allowed me to "only" have to deal with one needle every few days. The surgery to remove it was pretty awful, they didn't even put me under because the doctor was mad that my mother wouldn't let him get away with rescheduling after a full day of waiting. He had sent the anesthesiologist home to have that excuse. So they shot me up with 7 shots of local anesthetic in my left pectoralis to do the surgery.
By the time I got done with cancer treatment, I learned two things. First, I was no longer afraid of needles... and second, facing major fear like that results in nausea.
So as you find yourself feeling these things, just remember... that is your fear losing the fight for survival.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
