Day 76, feeling much better now about myself and the usage of OF. My last two on days I did two loops each day. This is the first time I did two loops on back-to-back days. I might do three next time as I feel like I'm pushing through resistance a bid. As I mentioned before I'm doing sober October right now and it is a really good thing for me. I had been binge drinking too much. This is off to a good start for me. I'm spending more time working out, reading, and hanging out with friends sober.
I find myself constantly reflecting on the time period that I have been running OF. I often scroll back though my Facebook timeline for the last 2+ months just to review/reflect on the things I’ve done and the shifts I have begun to have. I’ve been eating healthier and started juicing. I’ve been reading books pretty much every day, sometime even rereading the same ones to get more out of it. I’m exercising almost every day as well. I’m went from exercising once a week or so to almost every day and I’m running miles at a pace of about 7:40 minutes. The scale says I've lost about 7 pounds but I've probably lost more fat than that as I've gained some muscle weight. Also, I see I just post much more positive posts and pictures of myself when reviewing my Facebook. It is kind of inspiration to keep going.
About some of my more depressive posts lately, I seem to be having some sexual fear removed. I seem to be becoming more sexually aware. I’m picking up on sexual energy from both woman in men. It’s like I’m starting to wake up to what is going on in my environment. I feel like I had a big awakening moment when I was out eating dinner with friends last night after working out. I believe I may have had an irrational blockage in my masculine energy. I’ve associated masculine energy with anger and not with happiness. I had this epiphany moment where I realized that I could be masculine and happy at the same time. It was like my heart energy and sexual energy stopped fighting against each other and connected. This is kind of the feeling I was describing in my response to Greek above when things just start to happen naturally. I believe there are a lot of reasons for this blockage that have accumulated over my lifetime and I may elaborate more on it as I continue to reflect. Hopefully the blockage continues to further dissolve so I can get on with my life. Either way I felt absolutely fantastic last night and was laying in bed at the end of the day like a woman would be a fool not to want to be with me right now.
I find myself constantly reflecting on the time period that I have been running OF. I often scroll back though my Facebook timeline for the last 2+ months just to review/reflect on the things I’ve done and the shifts I have begun to have. I’ve been eating healthier and started juicing. I’ve been reading books pretty much every day, sometime even rereading the same ones to get more out of it. I’m exercising almost every day as well. I’m went from exercising once a week or so to almost every day and I’m running miles at a pace of about 7:40 minutes. The scale says I've lost about 7 pounds but I've probably lost more fat than that as I've gained some muscle weight. Also, I see I just post much more positive posts and pictures of myself when reviewing my Facebook. It is kind of inspiration to keep going.
About some of my more depressive posts lately, I seem to be having some sexual fear removed. I seem to be becoming more sexually aware. I’m picking up on sexual energy from both woman in men. It’s like I’m starting to wake up to what is going on in my environment. I feel like I had a big awakening moment when I was out eating dinner with friends last night after working out. I believe I may have had an irrational blockage in my masculine energy. I’ve associated masculine energy with anger and not with happiness. I had this epiphany moment where I realized that I could be masculine and happy at the same time. It was like my heart energy and sexual energy stopped fighting against each other and connected. This is kind of the feeling I was describing in my response to Greek above when things just start to happen naturally. I believe there are a lot of reasons for this blockage that have accumulated over my lifetime and I may elaborate more on it as I continue to reflect. Hopefully the blockage continues to further dissolve so I can get on with my life. Either way I felt absolutely fantastic last night and was laying in bed at the end of the day like a woman would be a fool not to want to be with me right now.
Sub history approximate total usage in months: ASC 5G -2.5 / EPRHA 5G - 3 / LTU 5G – 9 / AM 5G – 13 / E2 5.5G – 15 / DMSI 5.5G – 4 / LTU 5.5G – 11 / UMS 5.75G – 3 / OF V2 5.75G - 1.5 / E4 5.75G - 9.25 / OF V3 5.75G - Current
